


We Can Solve For X

by AnnieLoveHappens



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF, Trixya - Fandom
Genre: Addiction, Drug Addiction, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Gratuitous Smut, I.Q. Kitty Trixie Mattel, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Lesbian Katya Zamolodchikova, Lesbian Trixie Mattel, Mathematics, References to Drugs, Sex Addiction, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:20:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 30,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29160321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieLoveHappens/pseuds/AnnieLoveHappens
Summary: "Oh, we have a newcomer. What's your name, sweetie?" The counselor asked the girl."Hey everyone, I'm Trixie Mattel." The girl told them, speaking in a far more confident tone than the blue eyed girl had expected her to."Do you want to tell everyone why you are here? Take your time, we all know it's a big step." Their meeting leader said.Katya was dying to know the answer, for what could this girl possibly be addicted to?She didn't seem like the type to do drugs, maybe alcohol but not enough to get her sent here.Katya could see her being a video game addict, but would that be enough to get the girl to go to a meeting with a bunch of people in their twenties who were mainly recovering drug addicts and alcoholics?Doubtful. Maybe she was a shopaholic?Or used those academic skills on online gambling and got hooked?The answer was none of the above, and quite possibly the last alternative Katya would have ever suggested the cotton candy haired mathlete was addicted to."I'm a nymphomaniac."
Relationships: Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Comments: 116
Kudos: 129





	1. Beauty and Intelligence

Katya hated the meetings.  
Hated them with every ounce of her soul.  
For 2 years she had been forced to repeat over and over why she got into drugs at the age of 16, and truth be told, she didn't really know herself.

Boredom? 

Pressure?

A combination?

Why could it never be reason enough that the pressure to be perfect got to her?  
Why couldn't it be enough that nothing ever happened in the stupid suburban neighborhood?

For 2 years she'd listened to their group counselor tell her to dig deeper and find the root of the issue, when Katya herself honestly didn't think there was a deeper reason.  
She had just gotten pulled into it, joined the fun and traveled too deep down a rabbit hole. 

She was 19 when her parents started really understanding how serious her issues were. They'd abruptly pulled her out of school and sent her to rehab which later lead to Katya joining the group meetings. Their group was unique because everyone was young, which their leader thought would help everyone share more easily. 

"Do I have to go? Honestly mom, it's under control now, can't we stop with the meetings already?" Katya pleaded as her mother pulled up to the building.

"Katya, we've had this discussion a thousand times. You've just started college again, we don't know how the change in environment is gonna affect you, and so you will stay at least until you've gotten settled properly." Her mom, Pat, said strictly, leaving no room for further discussion.

Katya reluctantly got out of the car and walked inside, where the others were already gathered in a circle, slumping down in an empty chair.

"Katya, wonderful to see you. Glad you could join us." Their meeting leader spoke. The blonde girl wanted to strangle the man for his overly cheerful disposition, but he was too kind for her to actually ever do something to him.

"Well, let's get started." The man said. They went around the circle, sharing the same or new stories, and discussing wether or not things had improved since their last meetup. Suddenly the door was pulled open in a messy fashion, a soft voice calling out;

"Sorry I'm late." 

In walked undoubtedly the sexiest girl Katya had ever layed eyes on. Her curves were out of this world, the girl having large boobs, a tiny waist, wide hips, and the ass of the century. And on top of it all, the girl's legs went on for days.  
If Barbie was a person this girl would most certainly be her.

"Oh, we have a newcomer. What's your name, sweetie?" The man asked the girl. 

She looked too innocent for her own good as she approached them with a blush coating her cheeks. The literal personification of duality as her expression and style choices seemed to both compliment and contradict her sinful curves. The girl was wearing a yellow pinafore dress with a pi-sign on it, a white crop top, 60s white gogo boots, white round glasses, a mathlete team jacket and a pink backpack.  
This might make her sound prudish, but no, to top it all off the girl had artistic graphic makeup and cotton candy pink hair, not to mention the dress was short enough to show the edge of her pink panties. 

Not that Katya was looking, she wouldn't do something like that.  
Absolutely not. 

"Hey everyone, I'm Trixie Mattel." The girl told them, speaking in a far more confident tone than the blue eyed girl had expected her to.

"Do you want to tell everyone why you are here? Take your time, we all know it's a big step." Their meeting leader said.

Katya was dying to know the answer, for what could this girl possibly be addicted to? 

She didn't seem like the type to do drugs, maybe alcohol but not enough to get her sent here. Katya could see her being a video game addict, but would that be enough to get the girl to go to a meeting with a bunch of people in their twenties who were mainly recovering drug addicts and alcoholics? 

Doubtful. Maybe she was a shopaholic? 

Or used those academic skills on online gambling and got hooked?

The answer was none of the above, and quite possibly the last alternative Katya would have ever suggested the cotton candy haired mathlete was addicted to.

"I'm a nymphomaniac."

 _"Holy fucking shit."_ Katya thought.

A thousand scenarious ran through her mind, most of which included the mathlete bent over a desk with her ass in the air, or on her knees in front of the blue eyed woman. 

Suddenly the addiction meetings seemed a lot more interesting.


	2. A Bold Barbie

The room was silent for a while as the Barbie doll's eyes challenged everyone, most of the people there showing visible discomfort with the subject.

"Right, well sex addiction is a very serious matter. Why don't you take a seat next to Katya over there." Their counselor said, gesturing towards the blue eyed blonde.

Katya tried her best to remain calm, but couldn't help her imagination from running wild as the walking wet dream walked over to sit next to her. Trixie smiled at the pretty blonde next to her. The girl was hot, a biker jacket hanging on her shoulders, a black tshirt and jeans underneath it, deep red lips that the cotton candy haired girl's eyes couldn't help but focus on. 

"So, first I wanna introduce myself properly, my name is Mark. Now, Trixie, do you wanna share your story?" The man asked making Trixie shift her focus away from the blonde next to her.

"Sure, I spend pretty much all of my free time having sex with strangers, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that." The girl spoke honestly. This almost made Katya choke on her spit because no one ever spoke to their meeting leader like that.

"But isn't it invasive to your life?" Their counselor asked, the man visibly a bit uncomfortable with Trixie's boldness.

"What life? All I do is study, I get straight A's and I'm on one of the top mathlete teams in the country. Who cares if I enjoy myself when I have time off?" The girl argued.

"Well, constantly having sex with strangers is a bit more than enjoying yourself, Trixie." Mark told her.

"No, it isn't. Everyone meets random people on dating apps or at bars, and most hookup with them. I do the same, just more frequently. That's my stressreliever, just like it's yoga for other people. My mom, my stepdad and my doctor are the ones who decided that it somehow impacts my life negatively, and yet not one of them can state why that exactly is." Trixie spoke honestly. 

Katya knew that speech, she had given it herself to her own counselors, and yet a part of her also couldn't help but agree with Trixie.   
Of course, it did not sound healthy.   
But at the same time, weren't her parents and her doctor just finding a fancy way of slut shaming her?

"Alright, well, we're running out of time, but for next time I'd really like you to think a bit more about the possible negative factors of your habits, Trixie. Thank you everyone for sharing, I'll see you all next week." Mark said as he stood up from his seat. 

Katya would usually run out as quickly as possible, but not today. Today, a pink haired girl made her stay behind.

"So, you're Katya, right?" Trixie said with a smirk, biting her lip as she looked the girl up and down.

"Yeah, nice too meet you." Katya responded, trying not to get too overheated at the fact that the woman was basically undressing her with her eyes.

"So, couldn't help but notice that you were pretty much the only one who didn't look uncomfortable by my addiction." The girl said boldly. 

"Uhm, yeah, no." Katya said, cursing herself internally.

"Oh, you're nervous, so you are gay! Great!" The girl exclaimed, clasping her hands together cutely. This woman was gonna give Katya whiplash.

"Ye-yeah, I am. Why?" Katya asked.

"Just good to know what my options are. So, what's your drama?" Trixie said.

"Eh, drug... drug abuse." The blue eyed girl replied in a fearful tone. Katya realised she might have a chance with the living doll, but she also realised that a drug abuser could turn any normal person away.

"Oh, okay. How's the recovery going?" The brown eyed girl asked, not a single trace of judgement, just curiousity.

"Okay, good, I guess? It's under control right now and has been for a while." Katya said, feeling surprised at how easy it was to talk to the other girl. Something about her was so inviting and friendly, despite her boldness and brutal honesty.

"Well, that's great then." Trixie spoke, placing a hand on the blue eyed girl's arm. Katya felt her skin tingle from the simple touch. 

"So, random question. Do you live alone?" The brown eyed girl added.

"Ehm, yeah, I do." Katya responded, hoping this was going where she thought it was.

"Cool, can I come over?" Trixie asked. Katya found her refreshingly upfront, no games, no sidestepping, all the facts on the table right away.

"You really wanna pick someone up at the addiction meeting where you're meant to cure your sex addiction?" The blue eyed girl laughed a little.

"Yes, you're hot, I'm horny, and you've been staring at me since I walked in, so I'm pretty sure that you want me too." The cotton candy haired girl said with a smile, speaking as if she was stating the most obvious fact.

"Well, can't argue against that. You got a car, Barbie?" Katya said, not being able to deny any of the statements made by the other woman, and too turned on by the fact that this walking Sex Goddess wanted her, to think about it further.

"Yup, let's go." Trixie replied, pulling the hot blonde with her outside where her pink jeep was parked. 

"Oh wow, does it come with a matching Dreamhouse?" Katya joked as she spotted the car.

"No, but it comes with a mathlete who wants to get railed by you, so jump in." Trixie responded, making Katya choke on her words and cough loudly.

This girl would be the death of her, and Katya was okay to go that way.


	3. Patience and Control

They arrived at Katya's apartment which was just off campus from her college. It was a fairly large place. Katya's parents had a decent amount of money and had gotten it for her once she started college originally, as they thought leaving the suburban neighborhood she grew up in, would be good for her.

"Well, this is it." Katya said as they entered the apartment, turning around to close the door.

"Great, would love a tour later." Trixie replied. She sounded like she was in a rush, and quickly dropped her backpack and jacket on the floor.

"Later?" The other woman questioned, but no reply came.   
Trixie instead pushed Katya up against the door, attacking her lips in a desperate kiss. Every movement seemed erratic and rushed, the pink haired girl seeming like she was in a desert and the blonde was the only drop of water. Katya flipped them around, the Barbie now the one with her back against the door. 

"Shhh, calm down babydoll, we have time. Savour it." Katya said as she forced Trixie's hands above her head, holding them together with one hand, her muscles flexing as she did so. The pink haired girl was panting, her panties growing damper at the blue eyed woman's dominance. Very rarely had Trixie been with someone who could control her once her urges hit, and the fact that Katya could was a huge turn on. 

"When you rush these things, you're only getting half the experience." The blue eyed girl spoke again in a deeper tone, her eyes darker as she leaned in towards Trixie's jaw. Feather-light kisses traveled down the pink haired girl's neck, the girl melting beneath the blonde's hold.

"More." Trixie moaned out. 

Katya's free hand grabbed hold of the girl's hip and her right knee came between the girl's thick thighs, gently pushing them apart until she could step even closer and rub her own thigh against where the pink haired girl so desperately wanted friction. The kisses turned into sucking and licking, Katya suddenly feeling an urge to mark up the porcelain skin of the doll.

"Beg. You know you want to, beg for it." The blue eyed girl said in a gravelly voice after leaving a nice dark mark on Trixie's collarbone. 

"Please...oh, please fuck me. I need you, please." The pink haired girl moaned out as Katya's rubbing sped up, Trixie grinding down to meet her every moment.

"Good girl. Come with me." Katya said with a smirk, pulling away completely as she walked towards the bedroom.

She didn't know where this confidence or dominance in bed was coming from, especially since it was with a girl she had just met, but she was enjoying it. Something about having control over someone as headstrong and bold as Trixie, was extremely sexy to her.

The brown eyed girl followed her to the middle of the dark bedroom, not stopping until Katya held her waist from behind, moving cotton candy strands away to attack the girl's neck once more. The blonde's hands carefully unfastened the suspenders of the pinafore dress, reachning down to pull the white crop top off of the woman, unveiling the light pink lace bra underneath. 

Trixie moaned as Katya's hands came to squeeze her large breasts, strong hands massaging them through the fabric, before pulling the lace cups down to expose her swollen nipples. Katya's fingers found the pink buds and circled and pinched them, adding to the sensation. 

Soon the blue eyed woman's hands traveled further down, pulling the yellow dress off completely, leaving the girl in just her lingerie, gogo boots, and glasses. She looked like a nerdy stripper, and somehow that combination was unbelivably hot. Katya pushed the girl gently on to the black covers, the soft matress catching her fall.

"Take your boots off and get on your hands and knees." Katya instructed.

"Can you just fuck me already?" Trixie argued like a brat.

"Now, babygirl." The blue eyed woman responded strictly, watching the doll follow instructions moments later. Katya pulled off her own clothes, only leaving her red lace boyshorts and a black mesh bralette, which you could see her hard nipples through. 

Trixie's mouth watered at the sight of the other woman, strong thighs and arms, a toned stomach, perky breasts and a firm ass, not to mention long delicate fingers that the pink haired girl desperately needed inside her.

"Holy fuck.." The brown eyed girl whispered under her breath before remember the instruction and scrambling to get on her hands and knees. 

Katya couldn't help but stare in awe at the sight in front of her. Trixie's full ass and wide hips were meant to be praised and worshipped and the blonde was more than happy to comply. 

She walked up to the bed and sat sideways beside the girl, letting her hand travel up to slap the soft skin of her right buttcheek, watching it jiggle as the pink haired girl moaned loudly. 

"You kinky bitch.." Katya whispered teasingly.

"That's rich coming from miss Follow-My-Instructions." Trixie replied snarkily, earning another slap to her ass. Katya reached down to touch the center of the girl's panties, feeling the soaked lace as she gently rubbed slow circles to grant the desperate woman some friction. 

"So wet already..." The blue eyed girl spoke as she gently slipped a finger underneath the material, dipping it into the girl's core, the digit slipping in unbelievably easy.

"Katya, stop teasing." The pink haired girl groaned out.

"Stop being a brat." The blonde responded, another slap hitting the soft skin. Trixie moaned loudly, wiggling her ass for more. Katya waited a moment before adding;

"I think someone needs to teach you a lesson in control and patience, and I'm more than happy to give it."

"Please." Trixie begged again.

"Oh, babygirl. I'm gonna fucking wreck you."


	4. A Tough Lover

Katya pulled the girl's panties down in a quick motion, leaving them to pool around the girl's knees. She situated herself behind the girl, spreading the cheeks apart and squeezing them before leaning down to lick a thick stripe up between the lips. Trixie moaned and pushed back towards her as Katya let her tounge dip inside the girl, holding it still and letting the pink haired doll fuck herself on it.

"Aah..shit." The girl moaned, whining moments later when the blonde's tounge left her core.

"Patience." Katya said again, slapping her ass again for emphasis.

The blue eyed girl leaned down to suck a mark on the girl's lower back, soothing it with her tounge before she reached her hand up to caress the inside of the pink haired girl's thigh.

"Do you want me to touch you?" The blonde asked teasingly as her fingers just barely touched the doll's clit.

"Yes, I think that's quite fucking obvious." The pink brat responded, earning another slap.

"Uh uh, no babygirl, that's not how you get your way. Now, let's try again, use your words and ask me nicely." Katya spoke darkly, her fingers remaining completely still on the girl's swollen clit.

"Please Katya, jesus... Please just fuck me. I want you inside me, I need it." The nymphomaniac girl begged, fighting to hold back her insticts and urges.

"There's my good girl." Katya spoke softly as she flipped the girl onto her back, making the doll giggle cutely before her lips were captured by the bloned in a heated kiss.

Trixie pulled her own panties all the way off before Katya's fingers found the her core, three fingeres entering her wetness, stretching the girl in the most wonderful way. The pink haired doll reached her arms around the woman above her, digging her nails into the girl's back as fingers rammed into her quickly, making her entire body shake.

"Harder, fuck! Harder!" Trixie begged as the blue eyed woman's lips traveled down her neck and to her boobs, biting, sucking and licking along their way. Katya complied, her fingers moving at a punishing pace, her muscles flexing from the forceful movements.

"Ah, fuck, I'm gonna cum." The pink haired doll exclaimed, but her partner had other plans. The blue eyed girl's movements stopped entirely, her fingers leaving the girls core as she reached them up to lick off the sweet juices.

"No, no, please, I can't hold it. Katya, please, I need to.." Trixie begged, her orgasm so close and yet so far away, her body oversensitive and desperate for release.

"Baby, control and patience. You can hold it, you're such a good girl, I know you can hold it in for me." Katya said as she pulled off her own briefs before sitting down on the edge of the bed, her legs apart and her dripping core on display.

"Now, you're gonna be a good girl for me and make me cum. And after that I'll let you cum too. Okay?" She added, lifting a finger and beckoning the girl to come to her. Trixie shakingly made her way off the bed, settling on her knees before the woman, moaning when the action gave friction to her sensitive clit.

The pink haired doll went to work, her hands finding the other woman's strong thighs as she leaned in to taste her. Trixie moaned at the taste, her arousal growing impossibly as she let her tounge enter and fuck the other woman in slow, deliberate moments, suddenly not as interested in rushing things.

Katya's hand came down to grab the cotton candy hair, holding Trixie's head as she grinded her hips to meet the girl's warm tounge. The brown eyed girl sped up her moments, her tounge exploring every corner of Katya, stopping in between to suck harshly on the girl's clit, urging her towards completion.

"Trixie, holy shit! Fuck!" Katya groaned as her high found her.

She pulled the other girl off the floor, throwing her down on the bed and climbing on top of her once more. The blue eyed girl attacked the other's lips, moaning as she tasted herself. She reentered three digits into Trixie, the girl whimpering as they pounded into her.

"Katya, can I cum? Please? Fuck.." The doll moaned out, her nails once again finding the other's back, creating new patterns of red stripes as her body ricocheted off the bed from the deep and hard movements of Katya's agile fingers.

"Mmm, I don't know.. Do you think you've been patient?" The blonde teased in a rough voice. Trixie only nodded quickly in response, her mind too far gone to offer any real response.

"Okay, babygirl, cum."

The pink haired girl screamed Katya name as an intense orgasm found her, her legs shaking and white noise filling her ears. She felt as if she was floating, only managing to whine as the other woman's fingers continued to softly fuck her overly sensitive body. Soon after she felt Katya's movements still and her fingers being removed, the doll feeling empty as they left her.

"Trixie.. babydoll, you did so well, sweetheart." Katya whispered sweetly as she placed feather-light kisses all over Trixie's skin. When Trixie finally came down completely, she grabbed hold of Katya and pulled her down to lay beside her.

"You know, I think I'm really gonna enjoy those addiction meetings." The pink haired girl spoke, placing a sweet kiss on Katya's cheek. The blue eyed girl pulled the doll closer and kissed the top of her head.

"I think I will too now." Katya responded, both of them laughing as they enjoyed the relaxing warmth of release.


	5. Classes and Boredom

The next week was the start of Katya's college classes. And while the blue eyed girl had complained over text to all of friends that starting college again was stressing her out, she had quickly learned how much more pressure Trixie was under in comparison to herself. For while she was creating video and performance art at MassArt, the pink doll was about 10 minutes away by car at Harvard, working hard to remain as the favorite student of about every proffessor in the mathematics department. Katya could only imagine what they'd all think of the doll if they knew anything about the girl's life outside of class.

"Your main project should be something original. You're free to use any medium, the important thing is that it showcases who you are as an artist. Try to think as creatively as possible." Katya's proffessor spoke.

The blue eyed girl could barely focus on the information given tho, as her phone screen light up with a new text from the temptress who had been invading her mind since the previous friday.

 _ **1** new message from **Trixie**_ 💛

_class is boring... my mind's stuck on you_

Katya sneakily hid her phone behind a book in order to respond, luckily she was sat in the very back of the room, so no one could really see either way.

__

_fuck off.  
also, hard to focus when my pussy's wet and all i can think about is you fucking me_

_**Trixie! You're in class!** _

_so? im betting you are too and yet you're texting me_

_**Yes, but at least I'm using my education to type properly.** _

_no, you're texting like an 80 yearold  
capitol letters are for loosers  
also, im not here to discuss grammar  
dirty talk me so i can cum_

Was she serious? How the fuck was she planning to cum whilst in class? 

Katya suddenly felt sorry for all the people who never got into Harvard, 'cause clearly Trixie wasn't using her spot there very well. Of course, Harvard also likely didn't care much since she was on their national champion mathlete team and thereby helped gain their school further glory. Still, Katya doubted they'd be pleased if they saw the pink haired girl's texts.

_**You can't cum in class.** _

_sure i can, done it before, just need some help_

_**Trixie! This is definitively negative behaviour as a result of your sex addiction!** _

_katya... don't shrink me, this is just some fun. calm the fuck down  
im dripping wet thinking about you, just help me out a little_

_please_

_**I can't believe I'm doing this....** _

_come on, it's not a big deal. i've got one hand on my phone and the other in my panties, tell me how you'd fuck me if you were here_

Katya was starting to get severely turned on, the info meeting regarding her main project completely forgotten as Trixie's words urged her to join the exhibitionistic adventure.

_come on, i'd bet you'd have your long, slim fingers inside me wouldn't you?  
just tell me_

_**Jesus fuck... Okay.  
Yeah, I'd start with one, just barely moving to get you begging for more.** _

_im doing it to myself right now, bby  
please, can i add another?_

Katya had to stop herself from moaning out loud at the thought of Trixie actually doing this in class. 

_**Yeah, babygirl, add another.  
Keep going slow tho.  
Curl them upwards and really savour the feeling.** _

_fuck it feels good, not as good as your fingers tho  
shit i wish you were here  
i wish you were here eating me out under the desk_

Katya looked around herself. No one was near her and it was unlikely that anyone would see if she reached underneath her shorts.   
She'd never cum in class because that seemed far too awkward. But maybe she could at least relieve some pressure?

With a shaking hand she reached beneath the hemline of her shorts, just barely stroking herself above her cotton panties, sighing at the friction.

_**Shit Trix. You've got me all worked up too now.** _

_you touching yourself for me?  
be honest_

_**Yeah, couldn't help it.  
Slip in another finger, Trix, stretch yourself like I did.** _

_fuck thats hot. i wish i could see you  
feels so good, kat  
shit im so close_

_**Make yourself cum for me, babygirl.  
But be quiet.   
Wouldn't want anyone to know what a bad girl you are, would you?** _

No message came for a while, and Katya pulled her own hand away as she assumed Trixie had reached her high, and she herself was absolutely not planning to do so in class.

 _just finished, thanks_ 😘  
 _can't wait to see you friday_ 💛

 _ **Can't wait to see you either**_ 🖤

Katya locked her phone after that, trying to focus as best as she could for the remainder of class before hurrying home, immidiately finding her vibrator once she got there and cumming hard to the fantasy image of Trixie touching herself in class.


	6. A New Perspective

"You're absolutely going, yes? You aren't just trying to trick me?" Katya's mom spoke through the phone as Katya climbed onto her motorbike.

"Yes, mom. I'll send you proof if you want. I'm excited to go, I even made a new friend last week, okay?" Katya promised, almost laughing at how similar this conversation sounded to that between a concerned mother and a child walking to school alone for the first time. Still, she couldn't blame her mom for wanting to make sure she went to the meetings, especially as Pat had very often had to pick her up and drive her to them in order for her to attend.

"No, that's okay sweetie, I believe you. But how wonderful, I'd love to meet your new friend sometime." Pat replied. Katya couldn't help but wonder if her mom's response to her new friend would be different if she knew about the girl being a sex addict. She'd never taken her mom to be judgemental, but honestly you never know.

"Maybe you can sometime. I'll talk to you later, mom. I've gotta go." The blue eyed girl said.

"Okay, goodbye hon, talk soon." Her mom responded before the blonde hung up the phone.

Katya arrived at the center not long after, seeing a familiar Barbie pink car in the parking lot with a cotton candy haired girl still inside. The blonde removed her helmet, shaking her hair a little in fear of having helmet hair, before hanging it on the handlebar. Trixie shifted her white glasses down and raised her eyebrows as she fanned herself dramatically with her hand.

"Just when I thought you couldn't get hotter, here you come riding in on a motorcycle." The brown eyed girl said, making the other girl laugh. Katya walked over and opened the brown eyed girl's car door, holding out her arm for the girl to take.

"Come on Barbie, let's go fix our addiction issues." The blue eyed girl joked.

"Speak for yourself, I've got no issue with my addiction." Trixie responded as she took Katya's arm and stepped out of the car.

"I think your professors would if they found out, especially considering what you're doing in class." Katya joked as she lead the girl into their meeting room.

"Really? I think they'd all just wanna fuck me." Trixie said confidently, as if it was a crystal clear thruth, before leaning close to the other girl's ear. 

"But, at the moment, you're the only one who gets to do that, baby." The doll added in a seductive tone before walking over to one of the chairs, patting the seat next to her whilst Katya stood there dumbstruck for a moment.

"Katya? Sit down please, so we can begin." Mark said, snapping the blue eyed girl out of her trance. She hesitantly walked to sit beside Trixie, a little scared of what the pink haired girl could get up to considering the past week's events.

"Thank you. So, welcome back everyone. Who wants to begin?" The counselor said. A girl called Tatianna raised her hand. Katya knew the girl to be a recovering alcoholic who had started coming to the meetings just after she herself did.

"Well, yesterday I almost broke again... I-I don't really know what triggered it... I just... I was at a friends house and usually I'm good with them drinking around me, but... it suddenly got so hard not to reach for the bottle... And I-I don't know..." The girl said in a broken tone. 

Silence filled the room, the sound of breathing all that filled the void.

Almost everyone there knew what it was like.   
The guilt from almost breaking.   
The feeling of almost seeing all your hard work go down the drain.   
The heartbreaking thoughts of the possible repercussions if you actually had. 

"I can't tell my folks, they'd be pissed if they knew there was even a risk of me loosing control again. Mom would probably kick me out right away." Tatianna added sadly.

"Well, that's why we have this space, Tatianna. It's safe here. No one's judging you, you're among peers. Okay? I'm sure everyone's just proud of you for having managed to resist. And you should also be proud of yourself for that." Mark spoke kindly, the girl nodding a little in response. 

Katya looked at Trixie, a sad and uncertain look clouding the girl's usually bright and confident face. 

"You okay?" The blonde whispered.

"Mhm, I'm fine." The doll responded softly, giving Katya's hand a soft squeeze for emphasis. Trixie couldn't explain her sudden sadness properly, but she also didn't want anyone's focus to be on her, not even that of the woman next to her.

The brown eyed girl just felt guilty somehow.   
Guilty for denying her own issues, knowing deep down that she did struggle to control her urges. Guilty for wasting the time of their meeting leader the last time she was here, when he could have been comforting people who needed it. But most of all guilty for finding these meetings so dumb when there were so many others there who clearly depended on them for strenght. 

Trixie couldn't help but wonder how much Katya depended on them, or how long her fight had been going on. She knew the girl said that her drug abuse was currently under control, but how difficult was it to keep it like that?   
Did the beautiful blonde girl ever feel like Tatianna had the day before?  
Did it ever become almost unbearable for her to resist?

And then those thoughts scared her because it meant she cared for the girl, and didn't only like her enough to spend time with her.   
Trixie did sex or dates, never relationships.  
And yet thoughts of being the one Katya depended on filled her imagination.

Sex is less complicated when you don't really know eachother.   
But sex with Katya was already becoming complicated after only a week.  
And yet, Trixie couldn't imagine getting off this train.


	7. Share and Care

"Katya, do you want to share anything today?" Mark asked when no one volunteered to go next.

"Uhm, yeah, sure. There's really not much to say tho. It's been a good week, a lot of stress with school and it's definitively gonna take time to get used to being back, but it still feels nice. It feels really normal." Katya responded, actually happy to share for once. Their councelor looked surprised at how willingly the girl had participated for once, but gathered himself a moment later.

"That's wonderful, Katya. I'm sure it's a lot now, but it's great that you are settling in and getting back to a normal school life again." The man said with a smile. Mark waited a while before he spoke once more. "Well, anyone else? Trixie, how about you?" 

"Oh, uhm, I don't really think I have anything to share." Trixie replied. Katya noted the stark difference between the girl's demeanor now compared to how she had been before they walked in.

"You sure? You look like something's bothering you." The counselor proped. The blue eyed girl knew that he was trying to help, but she also couldn't help but feel annoyed at him for not leaving Trixie alone, seeing as the girl was clearly going through something. Still, she thought someone needed to talk with her.

"I'm fine." The pink haired girl insisted, looking down at her lap.

"You don't seem fine, Trixie. Listen, I don't know you well yet, but I'm here, okay? We are all here for you and ready to listen. This is a safe space, I promise." The man said gently.

The brown eyed girl was trying to hold back from going into one of her usual defensive anger outbreaks, knowing that the man really did mean well. So, she tried once more to convince him to drop it.

"Please, can I just not? Can we just not talk about it today?" Trixie asked in a small voice.

"Sure, we'll stop the meeting here then. I'll see you all next week." Mark announced. 

The cotton candy haired girl quickly gathered her things and walked out the door straight past the blonde who had been sitting next to her. 

"Trixie! Hey, Trix, wait up!" Katya yelled after her, only catching up to her as the doll sat down in her car. 

"Are you okay?" The blue eyed girl asked in a worried tone. 

Trixie hated this.   
Hated that someone was worried about her.   
Hated that her heart ached a little at the sound.

"I'm fine." She muttered as she closed the door and started up the engine.

"Trix, you seem really out of it. Are you sure you should be driving?" The blonde asked, seeing the Barbie's hands clenched around the steering wheel tightly.

"I said I'm fine." Trixie responded harshly, and Katya knew that it was the moment to stop pushing her. The blonde had seen the same patterns in her own behaviour and knew that pressing the doll more would only lead to an argument filled with unnecessarily harsh words that they both didn't really want to say.

"Okay. I'll text you later, okay? See you next week." She said as she pulled away from the Barbie pink car, mounting her bike and driving off.

Trixie sat there still in the soon empty parking lot.   
Her mind a confused mess and her emotions all over the place.  
She just needed her brain to shut up.

So, she did what she did best.   
Drove to a bar and found some looser who'd be desperate to fuck her no matter what the circumstances were.

3 shots later and she was in a bar bathroom pounding her fingers into some woman who had just learned that her husband was cheating on her. Her story meant nothing to Trixie, the girl just needed a distraction.

Needed not to think.

But as the woman got down on her knees infront the brown eyed girl, eating her out as if she was the woman's last meal, guilt filled the pink haired girl.

Why was she guilty?

She wasn't in a relationship or anything...  
Hell, she wasn't even dating.

And yet she had the gnawing feeling in her stomach that someone might get hurt from this.  
Would someone be hurt by this?  
Would Katya be hurt by this?

Would she even care?

And more importantly; did Trixie want her to care?


	8. A Late Night Text

It was 3 in the morning when Katya's phone light up with a new message.

 _ **Trixie**_ 💛

_can you pick me up?  
im at nellys_

Katya wasn't really one to go to bed at normal hours and was therefor by a miracle still up, and so she quickly typed a response and headed out the door.

_**I'll be there in 5 minutes.  
Stay where you are.** _

_gez, evn in a hurry your texting grammars perfect  
annoying_

The blonde laughed a little at that as she drove off towards the well known rundown bar. What the fuck a girl like Trixie was doing there, Katya had no idea. The place was far from where the partying teens of America would hang, nor was it a typical bar for Harvard students to visit. The only people the blue eyed girl knew to go there were older people who wanted to drink their sorrows away.

When she pulled up outside she saw Trixie standing by a woman in her 40s who was clearly very interested in the Barbie doll, yet the pink haired girl looked somewhat uncomfortable.

Now, Katya was not an idiot.  
She knew the chances that the doll had not slept with whoever the fuck the woman was, were slim to none. Still, she couldn't help the little sting she felt at that knowledge.

"Trix, come on." Katya stated, holding out an extra helmet.

"Oh, that's my ride, sorry." The Barbie said as she pulled away from the clearly disappointed woman, and walked over to the biker.

"Friend of yours?" The blonde couldn't help put say, cursing herself for how bitter she sounded.

"Easy prey. Wanted me to come home with her, but it seemed like a bad idea considering I've had like 5 shots of vodka. The invitation did sober me up quite a bit tho." Trixie responded honestly, the pushy nature of the woman she had slept with having been somewhat frightening at one point.

"Good call. You wanna head home to yours or mine?" Katya asked, hoping the girl would pink her apartment. The blue eyed woman would never do something while Trixie was even something near drunk, but she didn't like the idea of the pink haired girl being alone considering her actions and mood that day. Katya knew that Trixie's roommate, Kim, had gone home for the weekend and so there really was no one at the girl's dorm to take care of her.

"Yours." Trixie replied sleepily, wrapping her arms around Katya's waist and leaning her head on the girl's back. The blue eyed woman couldn't help but smile at the feeling.

"Okay, hold on tight, alright?" Katya said, feeling a nod against her back before she took off.

They arrived back at her apartment not long after. The pink haired girl climbed off and took off her helmet as if she was in a shampoo commercial. Katya followed her moments later, but removed her own helmet in a much less elegant manner.

"Maybe we'll actually have time for a tour this time around." Trixie joked as they entered the apartment, making Katya laugh as she recalled the girl's last visit. 

"You want anything? Glass of water? Snacks? Red bull? Room temperature coke?" The blue eyed girl asked.

"You." The other woman replied seriously before breaking character and laughing like a dying seal.

"Fuck all the way off. If you're gonna be like this you can walk back to your dorm, Barbara." Katya replied with fake anger, which was not very convincing as she was fully laughing from the insane laugh of the other girl.

"What?" Trixie said in an overly innocent tone, making the other woman roll her eyes dramatically. "Just kidding, room temperature coke sounds great." She added after a while. Katya grabbed two cans and walked over to the couch where the other girl had sat down already.

"Thanks." Trixie said as the blonde handed the soda to her.

"I know you'll probably be annoyed at me for asking, but, you feeling okay?" Katya asked softly before taking a sip of her own drink.

"Yeah, I just, I don't know. I'm not used to feeling like sex is complicated, but right now it seems really complicated." The Barbie replied. The other girl turned to face her on the couch, tucking her feet under herself. 

"Complicated how?" She asked.

"Just, like tonight I felt wierdly guilty for doing it. It was like something was telling me not to do it." Trixie mumbled, feeling embarrassed and on display. 

"Oh, well maybe you're just becoming more picky. It might not be a bad thing, you know? Maybe it's just your gut telling you to be more selective." Katya suggested.

"Yeah, maybe." The pink haired doll responded, deep in thought.

They sat in silence for a while before Trixie spoke up again.

"Hey Kat, I'm like really tired. Could we got to bed?"

"Yeah, of course. You wanna sleep in my room? Or on the couch? Or I could sleep on the couch?" The blue eyed girl responded, suggesting anything under the sun as she didn't want to seem pushy or like she was expecting something by inviting the girl home.

"Your bedroom is good, and I'm not worried about you sleeping next to me, so stop stressing." Trixie said, leaning forward to place a sweet kiss on the other girl's cheek. 

Soon they were wrapped up in the safety of the covers. Trixie in just panties and an oversized tshirt that Katya had, which still streched across the pink haired girl's chest. Katya in a pair of sleeping shorts and a tshirt. 

The blonde had tried to keep the distance between them, not wanting to come across as creepy, but Trixie would have none of that. So not long after, Katya's arms were wrapped around the doll's slim waist, her front against the girl's back.

"Kat?" Trixie's soft voice spoke.

"Mhm?" Katya responded sleepily.

"Thanks for picking me up."


	9. Kindness and Respect

"Good morning, Barbie." Katya said jokingly as she placed a tray of fresh orange juice, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a glass of water, and some painkillers on the bed infront of the doll who had just woken up.

"Mhm, morning. Kat, you didn't have to to bring me breakfast." Trixie said, a pink blush coating her cheeks.

"It was no trouble. I washed your clothes too, I just gotta get them out of the dryer. Well, not your panties obviously, but the rest of them." The blue eyed girl told her as she got up to leave.

"Thank you." The doll said softly just as the other woman disappeared from the room.

Trixie wasn't used to someone being like this with her. She couldn't remember the last time someone had taken care of her in a similar way, unless she had been severely ill.   
It wasn't that her parents were mean or abusive or anything of the sort. They meant well, they just expected so much, too much. It was always about studying, reaching the top of the pyramid, being the best, and so everything else just got lost in that void.

The pink haired girl had been scholarly gifted all her life, but this also made her parents more and more competitive. The girl's childhood room had been decorated according to studies done on how to study most efficiently. The room temperature, what things she was allowed to have in her room, the desk placement, all were determined by this factor.   
She rarely saw friends, spending every late afternoon with private teachers. Was never allowed relationships, as they were seen as distractions. And was barely allowed to be on her phone or computer, if not for research. 

Everything she wished for or wanted to do in life was set aside in order for her to be on top academically and get into the best possible college. 

Other dreams could wait, her parents had always told her. 

"Hello, earth to Trixie?" Katya said waving her hand in front of the stoic girl, having returned with the doll's freshly washed clothes.

"Oh, sorry, spaced out. What did you say?" Trixie asked, realising how wierd it must have looked for her to sit there like a robot with a tray of untouched food in her lap. The pink haired girl quickly took the painkillers and downed them with the water.

"I said, you should eat something. Also, here are your clothes, and I found these panties in my drawer. I think I bought them by a mistake years ago, never used them, but I think they might fit you." The blue eyed girl said, placing the items in front of the other woman. The doll picked up the sandwich and started eating, moaning at the taste.

"You can't make sounds like that, you're too hot." Katya teased, acting as if the girl had just greatly offended her, making the doll giggle.

"Says the super toned, biker chick, with insane arm muscles and tattoos." Trixie countered, the comment making the blonde blush.

"Anyways, there's a towel for you by the shower, feel free to use anything in there." The blue eyed girl informed, not trusting herself to stay calm if the previous conversation continued. Especially not seeing as Trixie's nipples were hard and showing prominently through the thin fabric of the tshirt, and Katya was painfully aware that the girl only had panties on underneath it.

"You trying to kick me out, bitch?" Trixie joked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I'm trying to get your dressed so I can breathe." The blonde joked back, both of them laughing loudly at their own dumb humor. Trixie finished eating and emptied the orange juice, setting the tray aside before replying; 

"What if I just undress more instead?" 

"Trix... I'm trying really hard to be a respectful host." Katya responded nervously as the girl's fingers gripped the hem of the tshirt.

"And I'm trying really hard to make you fuck me again." The doll replied teasingly.

The blue eyed girl took a deep breath, sitting down on the bed next to the doll, reaching over to prevent the girl's hands from pulling the tshirt off.

"Listen, as much as I want to, and in the dear name of God, Jesus and Satan, I want to. I just don't think today is the day for it. I don't know everything that went on with you yesterday, but clearly it was something, and you yourself said that sex was becoming complicated for you. So, let's just hold off on it for a couple of days at least, or more if you need it. I don't want you doing something that you're gonna feel bad about later on. Okay?" Katya said placing a soft kiss on top of the brown eyed girl's head.

"Okay..." Trixie replied weakly.

"Please, don't feel bad. It's not in any way a rejection or anything." The blonde said, slight panic rising.

"No, no. It's not that I think that, I've just... never had anyone care about me like this, especially not when the offer of sex was involved." The pink haired girl replied softly.

"Well, you do now." Katya said with a small smile, the other girl nodding in response.

"I'm gonna go shower so I can get dressed. Wouldn't want you not breathing for too long." Trixie joked as she grabbed the stack of clothes and headed into the bathroom, a tingling feeling in her stomach as she thought of the sweet and kind blue eyed girl.


	10. A Call From A Doll

It was Tuesday night when Katya heard from Trixie next, the pink haired girl texting her as she sat pondering over what her art project should be.

 _ **Trixie**_ 💛

_why am i taking math 55a?  
i like math, but jesus honors abstract algebra is annoyingly difficult_

_**Oh wow, the star mathlete has her limits.** _

_whatya doing?  
kat, im bored, talk to me_

_**I'm just trying to work out my main art project for this year.  
I've got no idea what I'm going to do tho.** _

_just show them twenty pics of your toned ass_

Katya shook her head and rolled her eyes as she looked at the message. Trixie really could never keep her mind out of the gutter.

_**Trix.** _

_what?  
im just being honest  
its a sure way to get an a_

_**You're ridiculous.** _

_you love it, dont pretend otherwise_

Katya did love it, she couldn't deny that. The blue eyed girl was quickly becoming obsessed with the doll's bold behaviour and fun personality. She also loved seeing the vulnerable girl behind it all, the girl that she had seen briefly on Friday and Saturday when Trixie had slept over.

_ive been thinking about you  
a lot_

_**Really?  
What about?** _

_how much i miss your hands on me  
when i was with that woman it felt all wrong and stuff  
but it felt so good with you_

Katya couldn't help but smile at that. The thought that Trixie might stop being interested in sex with anyone, and was rather starting to only get interested in sleeping with her was an immense turn on and also something that made the blue eyed girl extremely happy. Katya wanted Trixie, and the more time that passed it became clear that it went far beyond the physical stuff. 

She wanted to protect her.  
Take care of her.  
Be there for her.  
And she could only hope that Trixie would give her a chance to do so.

_**Well, I'm not against getting my hands on you again.  
My hands are forever at your service.** _

Katya tried her best to joke a little, but cursed herself for how dumb the reply sounded. The pink haired girl seemed not to mind tho, but also did not seem to at all take is as a lighthearted joke.

_fuck, i want your hands on me  
your long fingers inside me  
your marks covering my body_

_**Shit Trix...** _

_you like that bby?  
like it when i tell you how much i want you?_

_**Yeah, god I like it more than you know.** _

Trixie was already turned on, and Katya admitting to liking the texts just made everything better. She quickly lubed up a large vibrator and inserted it into herself slowly, groaning as the thick object entered her and streched her walls. When it was all the way inside she pressed the icon for videocall on messenger.

_answer it  
now_

Katya answered moments later, choking on her own saliva when she was met with an image of a fully naked pink haired girl with a purple vibrator being moved in and out of her. 

"Hi baby. You liking the view?" Trixie teased, giggling at how big the girl's blue eyes had gotten as they traveled across the image of her body.

"Jesus christ... uhm, yeah.. fuck." Katya sputtered nervously.

"Why don't you show me how much you like it? Touch yourself for me." The pink haired doll said seductively through whining high pitched moans. 

The blonde nodded slowly, her eyes never leaving the screen as she removed her clothes. Katya sat back on the bed and reached down, groaning as her fingers came into contact with her swollen clit. Her juices were already dripping down on the sheets below her as she pushed in a finger.

"Fuck Katya, you're so hot. Add another finger for me." Trixie instructed, the blonde following the demands moments later.

It took a little while before the blue eyed girl had collected herself, but soon she found her voice again.

"Mmm, babygirl you look amazing with that inside you. I can see your tight pussy stretching around it. Is it on the highest setting?" Katya groaned out as she sped up her movements, adding a third finger and feeling her high already nearing far too soon. Trixie shook her head in response.

"Turn it up for me babe, all the way. Fuck that pussy like I would if I was there." She instructed, the confidence from their first night together having returned. 

The pink haired girl almost screamed as she turned the strong vibrator up all the way, the thing moving inside of her in circles as the front of it attacked her clit. Her climax was building incredibly fast, growing nearer as she saw the other woman's fingers move forcefully in and out. 

"Are you close? I'm so close, Kat. Are you? I wanna...holy shit.. oh, I wanna cum with you." Trixie whined, finding it hard to even form sentences at the brutal pace and strenght of the vibrator.

"So close, Trix. Hold on just a second more, okay?" Katya replied, her fingers pounding into her as her eyes remained glued to the screen, observing every movement of the pink haired Goddess.

"Mhm, I'm trying, Kat... but.. oh fuck, I-I'm s-so... I'm so close." The doll responded, clenching her shaking thighs as she tried to hold back.

"Almost there, almost, oh fuck... I'm cumming.. I'm cumming.. Oh, god Trixie.. jesus fuck.." The blue eyed woman moaned out as her high reached her, hearing her name screamed out by the other girl moments later as Trixie came hard onto the baby pink sheets below her.

The pink haired girl desperately reached for the off button as her body grew overly sensitive. She whined as the vibrator left her, an emptiness remaning as it disappeared from her body.

"Well, that was fun." Trixie stated once she had regained her strenght, a small giggle escaping her, making Katya shake her head and laugh at the girl's ability to abruptly change moods. 

"You're adorable, you know that?" The blonde said sweetly, a blush coating the doll's cheeks moments later.

They chatted for a while more before eventually heading to bed, the comfort of sleep finding them both quickly after their shared tension release. In their dreams they met once more, both girls visiting eachothers mind in sweet scenarios of picnics and dinner dates.


	11. Honesty and Confusion

Friday had come once more and another meeting was in session, Trixie and Katya sitting next to eachother as per usual.

"Look, I'm not saying I don't get anything out of this, I just find some of what you teach suspect. It's not like all of us can dive down and find some magic trigger in our past that made us loose control. Nothing made me drink, not really. I just drank like most kids do, tested limits and then the limits moved." A boy told the counselor. 

"But we still have to find a way for the alcohol to loose it's current grip on you, Jeff. The problem is there, and the only way to deal with it is to find the root." Mark tried to explain.

"But what if there isn't a root? Alcoholism is partly genetic, who's to say I didn't just trigger something inside me when I drank for the first time? Why does there have to be some sob story?" Jeff argued.

Katya sympathized with him, having many of the same thoughts herself. She couldn't see any real trigger in her life either, no large event that made her turn to pills or other substances. 

"Well, does anyone else feel the same way?" The counselor asked. Both Trixie and Katya raised their hands at the same time.

"Katya? Do you wanna share your thoughts first?" The man said as he gestured towards her.

"Yeah, I just, I also don't feel like there's a point in time that I can pinpoint the issues to. I think we too often get put into a box where some sort of messed up event must have happened to all of us to make us like this, but nothing really bad happened to me, ever. My family are the nicest people, I did well in school, not amazing, but well, and I was generally a quite happy person. I just got stressed from the pressure of the future and I longed for something to happen because I was bored out of my mind from living in suburbia. I really was just a kid who experimented and lost control, just like Jeff... And so yeah, I agree with him. I don't think any of us can heal until both we and you accept that fact." Katya spoke sincerely.

"Well thank you for your honesty. Trixie? Your thoughts?" Mark gestured towards the other girl.

"What can I say? I, I agree aswell. I know I haven't really accepted that I might have a problem, but.... I can be woman enough to admit that I do. But I still don't think that there's a traumatic event that made me like this. I've had tons of pressure academically and my parents were extremely strict, still kind of are, but I don't think there's one specific reason for my issues. I just think it's more complex than that. I think people are more complex than that." Trixie stated.

Katya had never really heard the girl open up like that, nor had she heard the doll adress the pressure her parents put her under so directly either. The blonde found herself wondering how tough it really had been, and who Trixie would have been now if she'd had it easier.

"Thank you for sharing, Trixie, and I'm proud of you for finding the courage to admit that you have an addiction issue. That really is the first step. I appreciate all of your perspectives and I'll try to also think of how I present and frase things until next time. I hope we can pick up this thread next week, and hopefully with me also being more open minded." The man spoke. They all nodded at this, finding his response to be fair. They started packing up, putting the chairs back in stacks against the wall.

"Hey, my stepdad actually dropped me off today. Think you could give me a ride back to my dorm?" Trixie asked the blonde woman as they walked out of the building.

"Yeah, sure. I only have one helmet with me tho, but you can have it." Katya stated, throwing the black bike helmet into the hands of the Barbie.

"No, that's fine. You're driving, you should be protected." The pink haired girl responded.

"Trix, it's cool, seriously. Besides, I'd rather get hurt than have you get injured." The blonde said as she placed a soft kiss on the other's cheek, taking the helmet from her hands and putting it on the girl carefully.

"You gotta stop being this sweet." Trixie mumbled with a deep blush coating her cheeks.

"And why's that?" Katya asked as she tapped the brown eyed girl's nose playfully.

"Nothing, nevermind." The girl responded, too embarrased to say what she was thinking. 

"Okay then. Come on Barbie, let's go party." The blonde joked, having already mounted the bike. The other girl following after, wrapping her arms securely around the blue eyed woman's slim waist.

 _"You gotta stop being sweet because otherwise my heart might get confused and actually fall for you."_ Trixie thought to herself as the motor started running, the meeting center disappearing behind them as they drove away.


	12. A Fragile Heart

"Do you wanna come inside, maybe hang for while?" Trixie asked as they reached her dorm.

"Yeah, sure. Could we call for pizza tho, I'm literally starving. I hate food, but I need it." Katya said laughing as she followed the pink haired girl.

"What type of psychopath hates food?" The other girl responded in shock of the statement.

"It's an inconvinience, honestly I just want a food pill or something." The blue eyed girl said.

"Well, I love food, so pizza is a yes." Trixie said as she entered her dorm room, the other girl entering right after.

Katya quickly made herself at home, taking her shoes off before sitting down comfortably on Trixie's bed which was very easy to spot as it had hot pink sheets and mathlete medals hanging above it. The pink haired girl joined her moments later, settling down almost right next to the other woman, leaning against the wall behind them.

"Where's Kim?" Katya asked, looking over towards the very empty bed on the other side of the room where Kpop posters of multiple girls groups like Apink and Twice hung on the walls. The blue eyed girl laughed internally at how much of a contrast it was to Trixie's Dolly Parton and Nancy Sinatra posters, but even more how much it would contrast her own poster collection which mainly consisted of LOBODA and other female Russian singers. 

"Probably out partying, I think she said she was heading to some frat party at another campus with a girl named Naomi, but honestly who knows?" Trixie stated with a small laugh. She knew that whilst she herself went to sex to deal with the pressure of academic perfection, Kim often went to partying, and so keeping up with what party she was attending could be difficult.

"The party scene not for you?" The other girl asked. The brown eyed girl gave her a smirk, her eyes sparkling with trouble as she bit her lip.

"Only when I need prey, but you're already here." The pink haired girl said seductively. Katya didn't know what to say, feeling completely tongue tied as the doll swiftly moved to straddle her lap.

"Trix, we shouldn't." The blue eyed girl said, hating herself for it as the girl starting placing entrancing kisses on her jaw and down her neck.

"Why not?" Trixie responded playfully, her hands coming up to wrap around the girl's shoulders, fingers playing with the blonde strands.

The girl was like a siren calling the blonde out to sea, trying to make her drown through her tempting kisses. Each word, each touch, each kiss so masterfully placed to win the other woman over, pulling her closer and closer until she had no choice but to surrender.

"You know why not. You've only just admitted to having issues with addiction, feeding that addiction is only gonna make it worse." Katya spoke gently, tucking a stray hair behind the doll's ear. She really was incredibly beautiful, a living doll with a smile that could brighten anyone's day. They'd only known eachother for a couple of weeks and yet somehow it felt like Trixie had been part of her life for years. The blue eyed girl was scared to admit it, but she had a massive crush on the girl, and was frightened at how likely it seemed to grow into something stronger.

Trixie looked down, a sadness filling those deep honey brown eyes as she gently climbed off the other woman's lap. 

"Hey, look at me. You okay?" Katya said in a worried tone, wanting anything but to hurt the girl.

"Yeah, and I know you're probably right, I know I should try to get this under control, but..." Trixie mumbled out embarrassed.

"But what, darling?"

"It's...it's just it's the second time you've told me to wait, and we haven't actually had sex since the first time. Other than that everything has been over text or video, and I'm just.. nervous that there might be something... something wrong with me." The doll said quietly. 

The pink haired girl had never experienced someone saying no to an offer of sex with her, and her usual confidence was fractured as she tried to figure out if it was truly only an act of kindness and worry from the other woman, or if she might have somehow turned the girl off her during the first time they'd slept together. Trixie wasn't good with emotions, sex was usually an easy way to not focus on them, but now she was being forced to deal with them and that terrified her. And sleeping with anyone other than Katya was out of the question based off of her last attempt at that. 

"My dearest darling doll, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are quite literally the cutest and hottest woman to have ever lived. When you walked into that first meeting you literally took my breath away, and I was so surprised that you were even interested in talking to me. Sex with you is fucking insane, it's fully out of this world good, but that doesn't mean sex is always good for you. I've struggled with addiction for years, not the same kind, but still, I know how difficult it is to stop relying on that fix to get you through the day. But you have to stop relying on it if you want to live life to the fullest. I don't wanna be someone who makes your issues worse, I wanna be someone who makes them better. That doesn't mean no sex, it just means also hanging out without that being the goal, okay? I wanna get to know you, Trix, 'cause you're someone I can see myself loving some day." Katya spoke honestly, not holding anything back even tho she knew she was risking scaring the girl away.

"I wanna get to know you too." Trixie said with tears threatening to spill and a smile coating her lips. The idea of someone like Katya some day loving her, whilst slightly terrifying, was something she'd give anything to experience.

"Okay then, how about a date tomorrow night?" The blue eyed girl suggested boldly.

"I'd like that very much." The doll responded with a giggle, leaning in to place a soft and short kiss on the other woman's lips. 

"Good, now let's order pizza, I'm dying over here." Katya said dramatically, trying to lighten the mood, making the other girl laugh as she reached for her phone and ordered. 

They spent the evening watching Romy and Michele's High School Reunion, both of them happily singing along during the dance scene as Time After Time played, Katya stopping after a while to listen to the warm tone of Trixie's vocals.

 _"If you fall, I will catch you."_ Katya thought as she marveled at the girl beside her. Her talents endlessly surprising and her heart so fragile. The blonde wanted nothing more than to wrap that doll up in love and care, and make her see herself the way she looked through Katya's eyes.


	13. Dinner and Dreams

There are few things in this world that can compare to a beautiful and happy girl, and in Katya's opinion there was nothing that could compare to Trixie's beauty on that Saturday evening.  
The Barbie was all dolled up, a yellow checkered dress on her form and her signature white gogo boots on her feet, her glasses switched out for contact lenses, something Trixie did on occasion. Katya herself had settled on a skin tight black long sleeved dress, with a zipper in the front which was pulled down enough to show just a sliver of her bra.

"You look stunning." The blonde told the girl, who instantly blushed a little.

"You look hot, and I'm already questioning if you actually want me to fail your less sex policy." Trixie stated jokingly.

"Well, to be fair, I didn't say no sex." Katya responded with a laugh.

"Fair point." The pink haired girl responded.

They had met up at an Indian restaurant near Katya's apartment, as it was the only type of food the blonde did not hate or find inconvenient, and it also wasn't too fancy.

"This feels so strange. I've never gone on a date with someone I know and like already." Trixie said as they flipped through their menus. 

"Never?" The blue eyed woman said in a shocked tone.

"No, I think we both know that the date part wasn't exactly the goal for me. Honestly, dating people I knew was just inconvenient to me because I could end up having to deal with their feelings." The pink haired girl spoke honestly.

"What's the wierdest thing your addiction has lead you to do? You don't have to say, I'm just curious." Katya asked.

"I once sucked off a dude in a movie theatre." Trixie replied as if it was the same as telling someone you brushed your teeth that morning.

"Really?" 

"Yeah, that's also how I found out that I was one hundred percent gay. I finished him off, but it was not hot at all. I literally wanted to throw up after." She said with a laugh.

"Well, things happen to everyone." Katya sang, in a very out of tune way, whilst laughing, making the other woman scream-laugh like a bird getting killed.

"What's the wierdest thing that's happened to you from your addiction?" The doll asked.

"I used to do a lot of LSD and mushrooms and I once during a trip watched an hour long Radio City Music Hall Rockettes Christmas Spectacular Show take place inside the carpet of my bedroom." The blonde responded, fully aware of how insane that sounded. 

"That is nuts, but also sounds wierdly fun." Trixie laughed. 

"Yeah, problem is you always have the looming danger of a trip being very, very bad. But it was fun when it was fun." Katya replied.

They ordered not long after, their food arriving about thirty minutes later. It was a quiet evening, no drama and nothing particularly extraordinary. But it was perfect to the two of them.

Katya had never been good at sustaining a relationship, her addiction having driven many a partner away. Trixie had never even attempted relationships due to her own addiction. This was a new beginning for both of them. The start of something. They didn't need to define it yet, for now it was just baby steps into the unknown, a new discovery round every unexplored corner. 

"What's your dream? That is.. if you have one." The pink haired doll asked as she dipped her spoon into the Aloo Matar on her plate, savoring the taste of it as it hit her tounge.

"Something to do with art, but I don't really want to limit myself. I just wanna create, and let the water of destiny carry me wherever it wants. I think that as long as I'm expressing myself in some sort of artistic way, I'll be happy." The blonde responded.

"I'd like to sing." Trixie stated suddenly.

"Really? Well, you seem good from the little I've heard."

"Thanks and yeah, I always wanted to do country or folk music, be a singer-songwriter, but that's not really an option. Mom would kill me if I threw my education away like that, Harvard has always been her goal for me." The doll said sadly.

"Well, that's her goal, but is it really worth to give up your dream over if it isn't your goal?" Katya asked, finding it awful that the other girl was so prepared to give up on everything she wanted.

"Other dreams can wait... at least that's what they've always told me."

"I think you should decide if they can wait, not them. I get that they want you to make the safe choice, it's easier to row in calm water, but if we want to live life to the fullest then we sometimes have to face unruly waves." The blue eyed girl spoke calmly, taking the other woman's hand in hers where it layed on the table between them. 

"I've never thought about it like that before... honestly, I've never even considered that I had a say in the matter." Trixie responded.

"Of course you have a say, it's your life. You're the only one who has any real say." Katya said with a soft smile. 

All she wanted was for the pink haired girl to be happy, truly happy. The poor girl had been controlled all her life, the underlaying anger and frustration from that seeming to have sparked the girl's addiction, and still she seemed so willing to just surrender to other people mapping out her life for her. The blonde couldn't help but wonder if Trixie's addiction might ease up if she was allowed to do what she dreamed of, and she was going to help the girl find out.


	14. A Life With Her

Katya's words had been circling around in Trixie's head all week. Truthfully the young girl longed to be something else than just the "child genius". All her life every detail had been planned out for her, everything coming in second to the promise of a bright future. She never climbed trees or jumped in muddy puddles, instead she sat inside watching lectures or doing extra work. She never went to birthday parties nor did she celebrate her own birthday with friends, only having a quiet family dinner instead every year. 

Trixie had been reckognized as academically gifted far too young, most of her teachers wanting her to take classes with older kids. The doll had to argue to be allowed to stay with the kids her own age, not that it mattered much as she still barely got to see them. 

She had never blamed her mom for any of it. Looking back it seemed far too intense, but Trixie knew her mom only wanted what was best for her.  
Still, Katya was right.  
It was her life, so why should she spend it trying to life up to someone elses image of who she should be? 

And who was she really?

Behind the nymphomaniac mathlete, what type of person was she?

She knew she loved Barbie, an obsession she was certain started because her mom and stepdad had not allowed her to have them. 

She loved the color pink and country singers, but what else?

Well.... Katya.

She liked Katya.

She liked Katya alot.

 _That_ she was one hundred percent sure of.

That quirky weirdo who seemed so open and friendly towards her, but whom she knew was so filled with anxiety and had a more colorful past than anyone she'd ever met. That beautiful girl who seemed to know her even better than she knew herself.

An idea filled Trixie's mind and so she picked up the pink guitar that she had begged her parents for one year for her birthday, which they had given her even tho they were reluctant to, and started to play some chords as a new melody filled her head. 

_"Wierdness follows me wherever I go  
Wierdness seems to know me even better than I seem to know myself  
I'm someone else"_

She thought back to the friday night she'd spent at the bar, and all the bad decisions she'd made over the years to deal with how trapped she'd felt. 

_"An hour hand moves faster with a scotch  
Even when you're in it moving faster every minute if you watch  
And I drink a lot  
But drinking only wakes you up at ten  
Spend the day regrettin', but I'm bettin' that you'll do it all again  
Next weekend"_

It was far from a full song, but it was a start and to Trixie it felt like liberation. She'd been so focused on music being a waste of time that she hadn't even given herself the chance to write anything in years, so letting the words and melodies fill her up once more felt unbelivably wonderful.

Maybe at some point she'd be able to finish it and play it to Katya. That girl really was the only one who's opinion mattered to her at this point.  
Katya was like a saviour, a white knight rescuing her from her own fractured ideas of what dating and sex should be. She was like a soldier, shielding the girl from the strong claws of addiction.

The brown eyed girl pulled out her phone and typed out a message.

 _To **Katya**_ ❤😍

 _i started writing a new song thanks to you_ 💛

_**Really? That's amazing Trixie, I'm so proud of you!** _

_its not much yet, but it felt good  
it felt freeing_

_**Good, you deserve to feel like that.  
I'm really happy for you.** _

_thank you  
have i mentioned today that i like you alot?_

_**No, have I mentioned how lucky I am to get to hear that from you?** _

Trixie blushed at that, thankful that the blue eyed girl could not see her crimson cheeks. She quickly typed out a jokey reply.

_no, but you're right, you're very lucky to hear that from me  
honestly, im goddamn perfect, so im happy you see that you're lucky for even getting to speak to me_

_**Haha, I fucking hate you, you cunt.**_ 😂

 _no you dont_ 😂

_**True, I don't, not even a little.  
I like you alot too.** _

Trixie had never been interested in romance, but dear God she loved it with Katya. For the first time in her life, she truly wished that the word _like_ would turn into _love_. 

Most of all she wanted Katya to stay, because if Katya stayed, she could see herself becoming really happy.

That was her new dream.  
A life with Katya in it.

It didn't matter in what way, she just wanted the girl to be in it somehow.


	15. Pressure and Confrontation

"I want know who has been planting ideas in your head about throwing your life away!" Trixie's stepdad yelled. A nice family meetup having quickly turned confrontational as the pink haired doll had informed them that she wanted to try sending out demos to record labels.

"It's my life! She only helped me realise that!" The brown eyed girl responded.

"She, so there is a girl. God dammit, Beatrice, I thought this addiction of yours was finally getting under control." Her mother, Val, said in annoyance.

"It is, she's helping with that." Trixie tried to explain.

"By telling you to throw away everything we've worked for? We got you into those meetings so you could get your focus back on school, not so you'd focus even less on it. But, okay, tell me, where did you meet her? How do you know this woman who suddenly knows everything about your life?" Val asked. 

The pink haired girl was hesitant to say, knowing that where she knew Katya from would be a huge issue, but she also couldn't lie. Trixie was a really bad liar in general, she could avoid the truth or speak half truths, but not directly fake answers.

"I met her at the meetings..." The girl mumbled out.

"She's an addict? Oh, this just gets better and better!" Her stepdad, John, said as he threw his arms out dramatically.

"An addict? Really Trixie? I don't even know who you are anymore." Val spoke harshly.

"You don't even know her! How dare you judge her? Do you have any idea how difficult it is to even go to those meetings?" Trixie yelled, feeling anger fuel her at anyone speaking badly about Katya.

"Okay, tell me about her then. What is she there for? What's her addiction?" Her mother probed. 

"That's really not my place to tell, and you have no right to ask."

"Oh dear god, so it's bad then, that's what your saying. It's not drugs is it?" Val said, sounding more genuinely concerned now then before. The pink haired girl got uncharacteristically quiet, feeling tounge tied and cursing herself as she realised this answered the question louder than words ever could.

"A drug addict... Really Trixie? You want to throw your life away because a drug addict told you to?" John spoke, visibly angry.

"You don't understand, it's not like that and I'm not throwing my life away." Trixie tried to explain, but her mom soon cut her off.

"Beatrice, get in the car. I am driving you to that meeting." The older woman said in a cold tone.

The brown eyed girl opened her mouth to argue, but the glare she got from her mother moments after made her close it again and head out to the car. Her stepdad and mom soon joined her, the silence hanging over them like a cloud as her mom drove them to the counseling center. 

When they arrived Trixie could see Katya's bike being parked outside already, but there was no sign of the blonde girl. They walked into the meeting room, her parents anger clear as day. Katya of course knew nothing and so she waved happily once she saw the girl with cotton candy hair.

"You, are you the girl who's been telling my daughter to quit school?" Her mom spoke harshly to the blue eyed girl.

Katya stared confused at the three people, seeing Trixie mouth; _"I'm sorry"_ when their eyes locked.

"I didn't tell her to quit, I only told her that I think she should live the life she dreams of." The blonde said calmly.

"Well, next time, why don't you mind your own business instead of meddling with our business?" Trixie's stepdad said, sounding more country than ever. Even tho they'd moved to Boston years ago, his Milwaukee accent shined through.

"Well, sir, to be fair I think it's up to Trixie to decide that. It's her business, not yours." Katya argued.

Just then Mark entered the room, instantly alarmed at the commotion taking place. 

"Hello, I'm their counselor, what seems to be the issue?" The man said, reaching out a hand for Trixie's parents to shake.

"It's clear to us that these meetings are a bad influence on Trixie, she won't be coming any longer." The girl's mother said.

"Mom! These meetings have helped me a bunch, you can't take me out of them!" Trixie yelled.

"Yes, I can, Trixie. You will not be going any longer. I will not have you around drug addicts and alcoholics who think they have a say in your future." Her mom spoke harshly.

"And I will not allow you to control me, I am an adult, and it is high time that you realise that! Katya and this group have helped so much in controlling my addiction, and on top of that I am finally figuring out who I am and who I want to be." The pink haired girl responded, not being able to hold back any longer.

"Beatrice Mattel, you will not be attending! The entire point of you coming here was so you'd get your focus back on schoolwork." Her mom scolded. Mark was about to cut in, but he was interrupted by Trixie, who was bubbling over with rage and sadness. The usually strong and confident girl, shaking and crying as she spoke again.

"Do you hear yourself? School this, school that. It's all you ever care about! You don't care about who I am or what I want. All you care about is bragging rights from my academic achievements. I thought you'd stop once I got into Harvard, but no, you kept pushing! I had to fight to not start college early, I've never had a social life, I barely had friends and the ones I had, I never got to see. The only time you took notice to anything being wrong was after I'd slept with hundreds of people and even then you didn't once ask me why I was doing it!" 

The room was silent, the small chat between the other meeting participants gone, and the girl's parents in shock at the outburst. 

"Trixie, you don't mean that, just get in the car and we can discuss this at home." Her mom said, her voice unsure and milder than before.

"Yes, I do mean it, and I'm not going anywhere. Now leave, otherwise you can kiss your dream of me staying at Harvard goodbye." 

That seemed to scare her parents away, the pair scrambling out to the car as Trixie stood catching her breath and drying away tears.

"Katya, why don't you take Trixie with you into the other room?" Mark suggested in a calm and soothing tone. Katya nodded and walked over to the pink haired girl, gently taking her hand and leading her out as they heard the meeting commence behind them.


	16. A Bond Grows Stronger

"You okay?" Katya asked as the pink haired girl sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall behind her.

"Yeah, it actually felt wierdly good. All my life I've either played the role of the perfect student, or I've dealt with the pressure of that through sex. I've never actually gotten a chance to tell them my point of view. I feel drained, but still kinda... relieved, if that makes sense?" Trixie replied. The blue eyed girl sat down beside her.

"Yeah, no, it totally makes sense." She told the girl.

"Also, they kind of attacked you when we were home. Mom questioned me about who you were and what type of addiction you had, and I didn't want to tell her, but she kind of just figured it out and she got really mad about it...and... I just, I couldn't handle anyone talking about you like that." The doll said sincerely, even tho it was embarrassing to admit how much those comments had bothered her.

"Thank you, for caring enough to get upset about that. That's really cute, Trix." Katya said, picking up the girl's hand and kissing it before playing with the manicured fingers like a child.

"So you're not mad about her knowing?" 

"Why would I be mad? You didn't mean for her to find out and you stood up for me. I've got nothing to be mad about. I'm just happy you're feeling okay." The blue eyed girl said with a soft smile.

They sat in silence for a while, Katya's hands playing with the doll's hand as Trixie layed her head on the girl's shoulder, enjoying some peace and quiet.

"This kind of feels like we've met up after class in secret." Trixie giggled after a while as she looked around the dark room which was filled with tables and chairs.

"Oh babygirl, I'd meet you after class any day." The blonde responded with a laugh.

"Mhm, I'd let you research my body and together we could solve for x, unhhhh." The doll said, cracking up seconds later. Once their laughter had died down, Trixie spoke up again.

"Can I stay at yours tonight? I don't wanna risk my parents showing up at my dorm."

"Yeah, of course. You wanna go now? I can talk to Mark so he'll know we're leaving early." Katya suggested. 

"Mhm, that would be nice." Trixie said, turning her head to kiss the other girl's cheek before standing up.

They walked back to the other room, Katya quickly going over to the counselor and explaining that they were leaving, which he of course understood after having witnessed the dramatic arguement earlier. The pair drove away from the center on Katya's bike, arriving at the girl's appartment not long after.

"Thanks for letting me stay over." The pink haired girl said as she cuddled up on the couch, the blonde coming to join her moments later. 

"Of course. Trix, you're welcome to stay any time." Katya replied. Trixie changed positions leaning against the blue eyed girl's chest and snuggling up to her. Katya put an arm around the girl, relishing in the feeling of holding her close.

"You're the best." The doll said as she placed a soft kiss on the blonde's collarbone.

"And you're the cutest." Katya said warmly, kissing the top of her head.

The blue eyed girl thought back to all the days she had spent with a pipe in her hand or a pill down her throat, wishing for someone to make her life seem interesting and fill her world with color. Now, a Barbie doll had attacked her with bright pinks and yellows, and while the urge to use still came on occasion, it seemed far less appealing. Now, she didn't just feel like her addiction was under control, she felt as if it's grip on her was slowly loosing strenght.  
Katya wasn't naive, she knew the scars of addiction would follow her until the she layed still in her grave. But enduring it and fighting the urges off seemed so much easier to do if Trixie was by her side. 

And then she had an idea.  
Images of bright colors and cold darkness mixing together filled her mind as she realised what her art project would be.

"Trix? Would you let me photograph and film you for my main project?" She asked. Trixie sat up, looking at her in shock.

"You wanna have me model for your main project?" The girl said, her eyes wide.

"Yeah, only if you want to, of course. But I'd love to make a series about addiction and how you also help me fight off mine." Katya told her.

"Katya, I'd love too." Trixie replied.

"Really?"

"Yes, of course, I'd be honored." The pink haired doll said before leaning in to capture the other girl's lips in a soft kiss. 

Somehow, in that moment, something changed between them.  
The kiss seemed deeper and laced with more emotion.  
Their touches more tender and tentative.  
Their hearts clenching and fluttering in the most incredible way.

The bond between them slowly growing stronger, day by day.


	17. Fantasy and Desire

It was about 4 in the morning when Katya woke up to feel the girl next to her grinding against her thigh. The doll seemed completely asleep, and yet small enchanting whines and moans were slipping past her lips.

The blonde had meant to wake her up and make her stop, she really had.   
But that plan went out the window when the pink haired girl pressed against her harder as a needy groan of Katya's name escaped her. At the same moment, Trixie's own leg just barely grazed the blue eyed woman's panties, furthering Katya's arousal. 

The scenario was like something out of a porn, something that Katya would never have imagined could happen in real life. And yet, here she was, with a nymphomaniac rutting against her, using her shamelessly through the clouds of sleep and lust.

"Mhm, Katyaa... fuck me.." Trixie moaned out drowsily. 

That was it for Katya.   
No, way in hell could she hold back with Trixie moaning desperately beside her like that.

In a swift movement she flipped them over, pressing the doll's back into the mattress as she climbed on top of her. The blonde attacked the soft skin of Trixie's neck, painting her skin in possessive marks of red and purple. 

"Trixie. Babygirl, wake up." Katya whispered in the girl's ear before sucking on her earlobe, trying to get the doll to gain conciousness.

"Mhmmm." The pink haired girl groaned out, it seeming as a mix of annoyance at her sleep being disturbed and a moan from the pleasure she was now being provided with.

"Baby, all your dreams can come true if you just wake up. Let me take care of you, my dearest darling doll." The blonde continued to urge, her kisses traveling down the girl's front in a straight line, ending just above her hipbone. 

Trixie had pulled off her top in her sleep, the pink garment abandoned on the floor beside the bed, and so she was only wearing her pink silk panties. 

"Uh, mmm, K-Katya?" The doll asked confused as she was finally pulled out of her sleep. 

"Oh, there she is, my naughty little girl." Katya responded in a deep voice as she kissed her way up the girl's body making Trixie's skin tingle deliciously.

"What do you mean naughty?" The pink haired girl asked in a ludicrously innocent tone.

"Well, my darling doll, I woke up to you grinding against my thigh. Here-" The blonde said as she grabbed the girl's hand, placing it on her thigh where the doll's juices had soaked her skin.  
"Feel that? That was all you, babygirl." She added, earning a small nod in return. The cotton candy haired girl seemed endlessly fascinated with the fact that her wetness had dripped down the other woman's leg, her fingers stroking the girl's thigh up and down.

"So babydoll, we have a bit of an issue. You see, you're whines and your desperate little pussy have made me really horny too. Now, I think that you deserve to cum for real, and not you in dreamland, don't you?" Katya said seductively. Trixie nodded her head as she was on the brink of orgasm already, her dream and the blue eyed girl's kisses having brought her closer to the edge.

"Mhm, thought so. But for that to happen, you have to be a very good girl and help me cum too, yes?" The blonde spoke, again earning quick nods from the other girl.

"Good." Katya said, leaning over to her bedside drawer, pulling out a harness and a double ended dildo. She saw Trixie's eyes widen at the object, her mouth practically salivating.

"Are you gonna fuck me with that?" The brown eyed girl asked, her beautiful orbs large and curious.

"If you want me to, yes. I'm gonna fuck us both with it." The blonde replied as she fastened the ring harness around the toy.

"Oh my god, yes, I want that, I really, really want that." Trixie said quickly, the desperation to be filled dripping from every word spoken.

"That's what I thought, you're such a good girl for me, aren't you? Why don't you prep this, huh? Make it all nice and wet?" Katya said, holding up the dildo. 

The pink haired girl wasted no time, her tounge licking it generously, her pink lips first wrapping around the part that would slip inside the blonde and then greedily sucking off the part that would enter her. The blue eyed girl let Trixie take hold of the dildo as she removed her clothes, feeling herself drip onto the bedsheets as she watched the sinful doll. 

"God, you are so hot, it's fucking insane. Give me the harness, baby." Katya said, but the girl shook her head.

"Lay back." Trixie instructed, the blonde following her command seconds later, as the pink haired girl moved to sit in front of her. 

The doll let her fingers graze the blue eyed girl's engorged clit, circling it for a moment before reaching down and slipping two fingers inside the girl. Katya moaned softly as the pink haired girl pumped her fingers inside of her. Trixie removed her fingers moment later, taking the dildo in hand pushing it inside as her tounge lapped at the girl's clit, making the blonde groan in pleasure.

"Fuck Trixie." Katya moaned as the doll's nimble hands fastened the harness. 

"Yes, that's exactly what you're gonna do. I want you to destroy me, I want you to fill me to the brim and pound into me until I can't take it anymore." Trixie said as she pulled her panties off.

"Oh babygirl, I'm gonna do that and more." The blonde said as she reached over and retrieved a small remote from her dresser, placing it on the bed.

"Did I mention that this vibrates?" She told the doll with a playful smirk.

Trixie, now even more eager, layed down on her back, opening her legs for the blue eyed girl. Katya lifted the girl's right leg up, hooking it over her own shoulder as she eased the dildo inside, moaning as it also made the one inside her move and press into her g-spot. 

"Uh, fuck, that feels good. Move, please, please, move." The pink haired girl moaned out as the toy stretched her walls and hit wonderfully deep inside her.

Katya started slowly, wanting the other woman to get a chance to get used to it, but Trixie had other plans. She reached for the remote and quickly turned it on a high setting, making the blonde's hips jerk forward.

"Oh fuck!" Katya moaned.

"Yes, fuck me, hard and fast. Now! None of that slow bullshit." The pink haired girl demanded, having been on the edge for far too long at this point.

Katya started pounding into the girl mercilessly, the whole bed moving with her as her hips snapped forward quickly, the position allowing her to go insanly deep.

"Yes! Oh god, yes! Uh, Katya! Shit, make me cum, fuck, I'm so close." Trixie moaned out in a high pitched tone.

"God, I'm so close, Trix. Fuck, you're so hot." The blonde responded as her eyes watched the girl's large boobs in awe, the sheer strenght and pace of her hip movements making them bounce delicously.

"Unhh, I'm cumming! I'm cumming! Kaatyaa!" The doll proclaimed moments later, her juices spilling out as she let the waves of pleasure take her. With a couple thrusts more Katya was gone too, a scream of Trixie's name escaping her as she came.

Trixie quickly grabbed the remote and turned the vibrator off, the overstimulation becoming too much for her. The other girl gently pulled out, soon after removing the harness and dildo completely and laying down next to the now exhausted doll beside her.

"So, better than your dream?" Katya quipped as she pulled Trixie into a spooning position.

"Mmmhmmm, much better. Thank you, Kat." The brown eyed girl replied sweetly.

"Good to hear. Sleep tight, babydoll." The other woman said before placing a soft kiss on Trixie's cheek, making the girl giggle cutely.

 _"How the hell did I get so lucky?"_ Katya thought to herself as sleep found the pair, content smiles adorning both of their faces.


	18. A Work Of Art

"Good morning." Trixie whispered, playing with the other girl's strands of blonde hair as she urged her to awaken.

"Mhmm, good morning, Trix." Katya said in a gravelly tone, releasing a noise of pleasure as the doll's hand started massaging her scalp. 

"God, that feels good." She told Trixie as she leaned her head more towards the girl.

"Better than our little nighttime adventure?" Trixie teased. Katya took the girl's arm and pulled the girl around until she was sat straddling her lap.

"Babygirl, nothing could be better than that." She said as she leaned up to capture those baby pink lips with her own.

Trixie arms came around her neck, pulling her closer as their kiss deepened. Katya's hand gripped onto the girl's jaw as they kissed, her thumb gracing Trixie's lower lip as she pulled away, the doll opening her mouth and licking seductively around it a moment later, a mischievous smirk on her lips.

"Oh baby, you're such a little troublemaker, aren't you?" Katya laughed as she shook her head. The girl leaned over to the blonde's ear, placing a kiss below it before whispering;

"Only for you."

"Do you really mean that? That it's only for me?" The blonde asked, her anxiety growing as the girl fell silent and sat up again. Katya wanted Trixie to herself, but she also didn't want to pressure the girl into a relationship, knowing that the concept of being with someone emotionally was completely new for her. 

"Well.. yeah, I do. It's not... it's not working with anyone else. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't be with anyone else in any way now." Trixie said, a pink blush covering her soft cheeks. The blonde smiled softly, taking a deep breath before asking her next question.

"Would you ever like, want to be, no pressure of course, but do you think maybe..."

"Spit it out, Katya." Trixie interrupted.

"Would you maybe sorta want to be my girlfriend?" Katya said extremely quickly, the words almost to fast to grasp. But the doll had heard her, loud and clear. 

"Are you serious?" 

"Yeah, well... we're hanging out a lot, and I know I haven't known you that long, but we've still known eachother for a good while and we're hooking up all the time." The blue eyed girl rambled, her brain running on overdrive. 

"Katya, I'd love to!" Trixie said as she threw her arms around the other girl's neck again, kissing her deeply before pulling back.

"For real?"

"Yes, of course! It scares the shit out of me, but I also can't think of anything I want more. I'm not good at these things, like at all, but I still wanna try with you." The pink haired girl said sweetly.

"It scares the shit out of me too, to be completely honest. I'm never certain about anything, but I still feel certain about you." Katya replied, pulling Trixie into a hug.

They stayed there for a while, just enjoying eachother's warmth and the safety they felt when they were near eachother. But eventually they did pull away, the grumbling noises of hunger making their attention on the hug fade. 

"I'll go make us something to eat, you can jump in the shower if you want." Katya said as she left the soft bed. 

"Sounds good." Trixie replied, but before she could get up the blue eyed woman stopped her.

"Wait, stay right there." Katya told her before running out of the room. Trixie returned to her half sitting, half laying down position as she awaited the blonde's return.

Katya entered the room with a polaroid camera and an old VHS camcorder. The pink haired girl looked at her confused, but didn't resist as she trusted the woman completely. The blonde carefully adjusted Trixie's legs, moving them so they layed delicately, then her hands went to place the strands of cotton candy hair. She also made sure to adjust the duvet, so that even tho Trixie was naked, nothing could actually be seen. That way the bare skin was less provocative, and more so created a lovely vulnerability. 

When she was happy with how it looked, she went to get an old, broken meth pipe and some empty pill bottles, which she had kept to remind herself of how difficult it had been to stop. She placed the objects around the girl, a pill bottle by the girl's open hand, the pipe next to her head, pointing towards her lucious lips, and another bottle down by the girl's feet.

Trixie then realised that this was about Katya's art project, and she felt a surge of love fill her as she watched the blonde create her vision through careful adjustments. 

"You okay with this?" Katya asked her, knowing that she had thrown her into the situation very suddenly.

"Yes, everything's fine. It's just fascinating to see you work." Trixie admitted, which made the blue eyed woman blush a little. 

Katya took a few polaroids first. One by the girl's relaxed lips, the pure and innocent look of the pink hair and lips contrasting the broken and grimy pipe that layed next to her. 

"Close your eyes." The blonde instructed, her voice barely more than a whisper. Trixie soon let her eyes fall shut, her long lashes and relaxed state making her look even more ethereal, again enhancing the contrast. 

The blue eyed girl then snapped a few photos where more of the girl's torso was shown, the polaroids highlighting the beautiful curves of the doll's body. Then she took a closeup of the open hand next to the pill bottle, the delicate french tips that barely reached for the object of destruction. Then another closeup of the pill bottle down by her feet. And finally a full body photo, showing all the details in one.

Katya then fetched the video camera, pressing record before even haven given any instructions. She panned over the girl's body, focusing on the same places that she had with the polaroids. 

"Move as if you were dreaming about me, any type of dream, sweet or sensual, doesn't matter. Try to keep your eyes closed." Katya said, not worrying about the instructions being filmed as she wasn't planning on using the audio anyways.

Trixie followed her request right away, moving slowly as she imagined some type of dream. Her hands gripped the sheets, as if searching for someone. Then one trailed up her thigh, gripping it lightly. She streched her back, rolled her head back, her mouth making a small "o" for a moment. Then the imagined dream must have gotten more intense as the girl flipped over and started slowly grinding her hips into the mattress, one hand combing through the locks of cotton candy hair.

"Reach for one of the bottles, clutch it tightly in your hand." Katya whispered, having almost forgotten why they were doing this as she watched the mesmerizing girl on the bed.

The pink haired doll's hands searched for a moment before finding the pill bottle, grasping it tightly, her knuckles almost going white, which Katya focused the camera on before stopping the recording.

"Perfect, thank you. It's a great start." Katya told the girl, lifting her up into a sitting position and leaning in to peck her lips.

"You're welcome, didn't really require much." Trixie giggled cutely. "But, now that I've done this for you, I think you should go make me the breakfast that was previously promised." The doll added in the absolute most adorable way.

"I shall do that princess." The blonde replied dramatically in a fake british accent, bowing for impact.

"Great, I shall be done with my washing ritual in fifteen." Trixie replied in a similar fashion, leaning up to steal another kiss before running off to the shower.


	19. Sincerity and Possibility

"How's the project coming along?" Trixie asked as she grabbed another piece of pizza. It had been a month since they'd become official and since then the pink haired girl had practically been living at Katya's.

"It's good, it's difficult to revisit all my darkest moments, but it's also therapeutic in a way. How's your music coming along, have you been working on something new?" Katya said. Trixie downed her whole glass of coke to answer, her mouth having been too full of food to talk.

"Yeah, it's going great. I've written quite a bit, and I just recently finished a sing called Gold which I sent out to some bars and café's in the area. You know, starting small, but just to see if anyone might let me play." The doll said.

"That's great, Trix! Are your parents pissed?"

"Well, I don't really know, haven't been talking to them much to be honest..." Trixie said, sounding a little upset.

"I'm sorry, baby, I'm sure they'll come around." Katya comforted, placing a kiss on the other girl's shoulder.

"It's okay, or it's not, but it's not your fault. But, I'm still in school, so I'm sure their at least happy about that." The brown eyed girl said, shrugging her shoulders. Katya nodded in response, not entirely sure what she could say or do to make the situation better.

"How's school been?"

"Good, it's a bit easier to focus now that I'm not constantly looking for people to fuck in between classes." Trixie said bluntly, breaking into laughter seconds later, Katya joining in and slapping the girl's thigh as she laughed.

"You know what I love about you?" Katya asked the girl once the laughter died out.

"What?"

"You're so honest and straightforward. It's always just blunt truths. There's never an ulterior motive or any games. You're not like anyone else that I've ever met, and I love that. I've needed someone like you in my life for such a long time. People I've been around have always filtered their statements and made me have to dissect every single word they say, but you're so direct and open. Somehow you just get me and if there's an issue, you tell me. I can see myself really falling in love with someone like you." The blue eyed girl said honestly, taking the cues from the girl with cotton candy hair and speaking without filters.

Trixie wrapped the blonde into a hug before pulling back to look into the girl's ocean blue eyes, the pink haired girl's arms remaining around the blonde's neck.

"I can see myself falling in love with someone like you too." The doll said with crystal tears threatening to spill from her eyes as she leaned in to kiss the other girl.

Trixie really could see herself falling in love with Katya.  
Trixie could even see herself growing old with Katya.

She could never express how much the blonde meant to her when they spoke, and so she was trying her best to put every loving thought into her song lyrics. But it felt as if tho even if she was to add up every word she knew, they could never convey the place Katya had in her heart.

The blue eyed girl had started consuming her every thought, replacing endless lust with ridiculous cheesiness. All of Trixie's sexual desires being transformed into things she wanted to try with the blonde, but things she now wanted to take her time with. Before she would have been restless if she didn't sleep with someone at least every second day, but now she was content with sex coming up naturally as an extension of their care for eachother. 

Katya had pulled her out of her darkness and made her realise what she really needed, and suddenly all the emotions that she had been running from, didn't seem so scary anymore.

She could see it now. She could see them in a small town, spending nights counting the stars up in the sky. She could see the picket fences, and she could see them mow the lawn. And for some reason, now she wanted all that. All that ridiculous stuff that she would view as so disgustingly domestic before. 

Trixie smiled at Katya, the blonde looking at her confused since the pink haired girl had been staring at her for a while.

"What? What is it?" Katya proped.

"Nothing, I just like you." Trixie replied, the blonde breaking into laughter with the other girl soon following along.  
The scars of their past healing through the hope of a happy tommorow.


	20. A Cute Bunny

_**1** new message from **Tracy**_ 🐰

_news! important news!  
also tracy really?_

_**Yes, Talulah Maraschino.  
That's what you get for constantly messaging me in class.  
Also if this is just you being horny again, I'm going to kill you.  
I was 5 seconds away from getting caught last time.** _

_oh buhu, very sad_ 🙄  
 _you love it and you know its not my problem that you cant finger yourself in public without people noticing  
if anything you should be thanking me for improving your skills_

_**Ah, yes, my bad.  
Thank you Tracy Martel for teaching me how to masturbate in class.** _

_you're welcome, now news!  
one of the bars i sent the demo to wants me to warm up for the band playing there on friday!_🎉🎉🎉

_**OH MY GOD!  
Trixie, that's amazing!**_ 💛  
 _ **I'm so proud of you!  
Once my class finishes I'll come pick you up and we can go get ice cream to celebrate. **_

Katya was beyond proud of Trixie.  
She knew how much it meant to the girl and how important the pink haired girl's music had been to her healing process. The blonde was also very aware that the pink pussy Barbie explosion that was Trixie Mattel, loved ice cream and ice cream dates more than anything and that it would therefor be the perfect way to celebrate. 

_yay! im getting ice cream!_

The blue eyed girl laughed at the text. Trixie could literally go from the most horny woman alive to the most adorably innocent bunny in a span of 5 seconds. 

_**You're the cutest.  
I'll pick you up once I'm done, okay?** _

_i know, im baby  
k, see you soon_💕

Another half hour passed before Katya could finally meet up with the pink haired girl. Once her class had finished she threw all her equipment in her bag and practically sprinted out to her bike, driving off to pick Trixie up from her college. 

"Ah, there she is, the upcoming country and folk-star, Trixie Mattel." Katya said dramatically as she dismounted the bike. Trixie ran into her arms and the blonde spun her around happily.

"I've missed you." The pink haired doll said with a cute pout once the blonde put her back down.

"You saw me this morning." Katya laughed, poking the pink pouting lips lightly.

"Yes, exactly, it's been ages!" Trixie said dramatically, wrapping the other woman up in another hug, something Katya definitively wasn't complaining about. 

"Anyways, give me ice cream." The brown eyed girl said as she pulled back, making the blonde laugh at the abrupt subject change. 

Her laughter soon died out however as her eyes panned down to see what Trixie was wearing. The girl had on a cropped black sweater with a deep sweetheart neckline, a sparkly silver pencil skirt, and thigh high dark pink boots. Her usually voluminous hair layed rather flat in messy beach waves, almost seeming as if she'd been walking through the rain, an effect highlighted by the faded pink color she currently had where light blonde strands of hair had started to show.

"You look very hot." Katya blurted out without thinking.

"Oh, thank you." Trixie replied with a smirk, enjoying her girlfriend's unshared attention.

"Actually could I film you in this?" The blonde asked.

"Katya, you promised ice cream! This is just like when you made me wait for breakfast." The doll argued like a brat.

"Please Trix, it would be great for the project if I could film you in this with my leather jacket on. I promise I'll buy you heaps of ice cream, just let me film you a little first."

"Okay, fine, but you better make me look pretty." Trixie said, as always unable to say no to Katya.

"You always look pretty, you don't need my help in that department." Katya replied as she handed the girl her black leather jacket. 

She walked Trixie over to the outside of a diner, getting the girl to sit down on the steps. Katya herself backed away a bit so she could also film the strangers passing by.

"Okay, great, now lean forward a little as if you feel lost and alone, try to look sad." The blonde instructed. 

Trixie tried her best, but she only managed to keep the act up for a short while before she completely lost it. She broke into a laughing fit, hiding her face behind her hands as she tried to compose herself again. However it was to no avail and soon she stood up and walked over to where her girlfriend stood, the blonde having also started to laugh due to the doll's cuteness.

"You know this is what you get for not giving me ice cream right away, blame this on yourself." Trixie said into the still rolling camera.

"I will learn from my mistake. Never again will I deny Tracy Martel her ice cream." Katya replied teasingly.

"Stop calling me that! You're so mean, I hate you." The pink haired girl said unconvincingly, folding her arms as she turned away. The blonde put the camera away and wrapped Trixie up in a back hug, placing her head on the girl's shoulder.

"No, you don't. You like me alot, Talulah Maraschino, admit it." Katya said as she kissed the girl's cheek.

"Nope, I hate you now." Trixie said childishly, a smile betraying her statement.

"Fine, then I guess you don't want to eat ice cream with me." The blonde said as she pulled away, walking back towards where her bike stood parked. Moments later she felt Trixie's arms wrap around her waist.

"Just kidding, I really like you, now get me ice cream." The doll spoke quickly.

"You're literally such a child." Katya laughed out as she mounted the bike, the pink haired girl doing the same before they drove off to Trixie's favorite ice cream place.


	21. More and More

After their ice cream date, Trixie and Katya were sat next to eachother on Katya's couch, both working on different assignments. Trixie however was quickly becoming bored, and had started poking Katya's thigh with her pencil.

"Trix, you need to finish your physics assignment." Katya told her as she continued to edit through the videoes for her art project.

"But it's boring, I'd rather do something physical." The doll responded, leaning in to place small kisses on the blonde woman's neck.

"Trixie... jesus fuck, it's honestly a miracle that you are passing your classes." The blue eyed woman said as she felt her determination to keep working quickly slip away.

"Come on, come to bed with me." Trixie whispered in her ear, sucking on her earlobe moments later and kissing down her jaw. Katya tried to hold in her moans, but one still slipped out as the pink haired girl sucked on the sweet spot on her neck. 

"Baby, you know you want to. Please, I need you." The brown eyed girl said seductively, and Katya couldn't hold back anymore. She dropped everything and turned her body towards the doll, capturing those pink, plump lips in a passionate kiss. The blonde lifted the pink haired girl as if she weighed nothing, carrying her into the bedroom and setting her down on the soft mattress.

Katya climbed on top of the girl, but Trixie flipped them over, wanting to be in control for a change. She pulled off the blonde's t-shirt, kissing down her chest before reaching around to unclasp the black strapless bra the girl was wearing. Once she had it loose, she quckly threw it away, as her mouth leaned in to capture the swollen nipple of Katya's right breast. The blonde's boobs were significally smaller than Trixie's, but they were no less beautiful. 

"Trix, more, please." Katya moaned out, feeling herself grow more and more needy.

Trixie's lips travelled further down, sucking a dark mark on the top of the blonde's hip bone whilst undoing her jeans. She pulled them off with some difficulty, settling between the girl's legs once her bare skin was finally revealed.

"Baby, wait, let me see you too." The blue eyed girl asked just as the doll's hands reached for the hemline of her panties. 

Trixie stepped off the bed, stripping herself of her clothes slowly. Moving her body in seductive waves as she rid herself of the black cropped sweater, her tight pencil skirt, and the hot pink lingerie set she had on underneath. Soon, she was completely naked and Katya could think of no more beautiful sight.

"You are so gorgeous... seriously, sometimes I wonder if you're real." Katya told the girl, seeing a small blush spread on her cheeks.

"You are too, you're honestly the hottest woman I know of." Trixie replied as she walked back over, settling between the girl's legs once more.

"So now, are you gonna let me take care of you? Remove all of the stress from your tense muscles?" Trixie said in barely more than a whisper as she kissed up the inside of Katya's thighs, making her way towards her hemline again but this time gripping it with her teeth.

"Please, yes." Katya replied, nodding frantically until the pink haired girl pulled the thin material off her body.

Trixie climbed back up as she placed more kisses on the smooth, strong thighs of the girl beneath her, her mouth everywhere but where the blue eyed woman needed it most.

"Trix, stop teasing." Katya soon begged.

"Shhh, like you always say; _when you rush things, you're only getting half the experience._ " The pink haired girl whispered in a sensual tone. The blonde felt wetness pool between her legs at the combination between the way the other girl spoke and the way she looked at her, those gorgeous honey brown eyes, now deeper in color and blown out from lust. 

Katya wanted to remember that gaze forever, wanted to never forget how Trixie viewed her. The blonde knew she was generally attractive, but when her girlfriend looked at her, she felt like the most beautiful and sexy woman alive. Somehow the look in Trixie's eyes made her feel invincible. When Trixie looked at her, there was no doubt that she was desired, that she was cared for, that she was appreciated. Trixie looked at her as if she'd saved the world, with admiration and love, but also as if she needed to savour every moment, as if Katya would somehow dissappear if she looked away.

The blue eyed girl sometimes wondered if she deserved someone like the pink haired doll. Someone so beautiful, so kind, so funny, and so smart.  
Had Katya really earned the right to be with someone like that?  
All she knew was that she'd never throw this away, for she knew nowhere in the world would she find someone like Trixie again. 

Trixie's kisses grew closer to where she needed them and then finally that warm, wet tounge og hers was at Katya's entrance, just barely entering before making it's way up to the girl's throbbing clit, shock waves traveling through the blonde's body at the soft licks. Moments later, two long fingers found her opening, sliding in with ease and curling deliciously inside her, reaching the spot that made her body shake in pleasure. Trixie's tounge stopped and instead her soft lips started kissing everywhere they could reach as she made her way up to Katya's lips, allowing the blonde to taste herself on her tounge. 

Katya moaned into the kiss as Trixie started riding her thigh, rubbing herself quickly as she moved her fingers faster, and soon enough, both of them came undone. The pink haired girl's fingers continuing to move for a while longer, only pulling them out when Katya's orgasm had passed completely. 

They layed down in comfortable silence, Katya's fingers in Trixie's faded cotton candy pink hair as she thanked the lucky stars for being allowed to call the angel beside her hers. Trixie had knocked down the doors to Katya's tired heart and was filling the void with only thoughts of her. The blonde's heart was looking only at the pink haired doll and with her hand locked in Trixie's she was sure she could walk on to the next page of her life.


	22. A Golden Haired Angel

Friday quickly rolled around and Trixie had asked for Katya to meet her at the bar during soundcheck. Katya didn't love the idea of hanging out at a bar all night, knowing the temptations would be many, but she needed to be there for Trixie's sake. 

When she entered the small bar, Trixie was already on stage with her guitar, but her pink hair was gone, instead golden blonde locks cascaded down her shoulders and straight across bangs layed on her forehead.

"Katya!" The girl yelled happily from the stage, the blue eyed woman walking up next to it right away.

"Hi baby." Katya replied.

"So what do you think? I'm going back to my roots." Trixie laughed out, making the other woman roll her eyes but laugh along at how bad the joke was.

"You look incredible Trix, and I love the bangs. You know what I always say, bangs are the curtains of the head." Katya replied.

"Ah yes, bangs are the curtains of the head which is the eyes to the windows of the soul." The other girl said making them both laugh even harder. 

"Trixie, we're ready for you." The sound guy announced.

"Okay, thanks." Trixie replied, walking over towards the microphone and clearing her throat before she started singing. And as the yellow light hit the stage and made Trixie's golden dress sparkle and blonde hair glow, Katya couldn't help but pull her videocamera out of her purse to film.

_"We've been going for a while  
We've been going strong  
Hard here to believe in all the years have come and gone  
When we put our hands together  
Key into a cage  
Every story started when I found you on the page  
And I still remember where I was when the feeling changed, and  
How I burned my tongue when the ceiling caved in"_

Trixie sang warmly as her fingers plucked the strings of her white Hummingbird, the capo high on it's neck, barely giving her space to play the chords.

_"Where do you go when the gold is gone,  
When the old front lawn's turning gray?  
Will you grow from those cold blood wrongs  
When those old love songs start to play?  
Do-do-do-do-do  
They start to play  
Do-do-do-do-do"_

Katya had never been an avid listener of country or folk music, and she was not a fan of live music in general really, but something about Trixie's voice was so soothing to listen to, and her lyrics were saw raw and honest that the blue eyed girl couldn't help but be completely transfixed.

Just then an older couple walked in, and Katya smiled in greeting as they entered, breathing a sigh in relief when they greeted her back. Their attention soon shifted to the blonde angel on stage who was smiling brightly as she sang, her love for music clear as day to anyone who watched her.

_"I said there to the junk man  
"Have you seen my heart?"  
He said, "Not for a while in any pile of heavy parts"  
I said, "Now not to worry  
Thank you all the same"  
Since my heart's been beating like a kitten on parade  
And I still remember where I was when the ceiling caved in  
How I burned my tongue when the feeling changed, and"_

Trixie hadn't noticed them, too far gone in her own little world, and Katya thought maybe it was for the best. After all, she had not informed Trixie nor asked the girl's permission to invite the pair. 

_"Where do you go when the gold is gone,  
When the old front lawn's turning gray?  
Will you grow from those cold blood wrongs  
When those old love songs start to play?  
Do-do-do-do-do  
They start to play  
Do-do-do-do-do"_

When Katya saw the expression on Trixie's mom's face, she felt pride fill her, and also the small hope that her parents might change their stance in the debate regarding Trixie's music.

_"They say it gets better but I've seen it worse  
I hate to say I told you so, but I told it to you first  
And they say love's a blessing, but I've seen it so cursed  
And I still remember where I was when the feeling changed, and  
How I burned my tongue when the ceiling caved in  
Where do you go when the gold is gone,  
When the old front lawn's turning gray?  
Will you grow from your cold blood wrongs  
When those old love songs start to play?  
Do-do-do-do-do  
They start to play  
Do-do-do-do-do  
They start to play  
Do-do-do-do-do  
They start to play  
Do-do-do-do-do"_

The song came to an end and finally Trixie's eyes opened, shock spreading on her face as she saw the two people standing next to Katya. The brown eyed girl barely acknowledged the technician who informed her that it sounded good and asked if she needed anything else, putting her guitar down on the stand before storming off stage to great her parents who were smiling brightly after Trixie's performance. Katya quickly stopped recording and put the camera away, knowing that not everything needed to be documented.

"Oh my god, what are you guys doing here?" Trixie asked, engulfing them both in a hug which seemed to surprise the pair as the girl had been ignoring most of their messages and calls since their fight. 

"Katya invited us, we can't stay for the show, so she suggested for us to come see the soundcheck." John told her, smiling warmly in Katya's direction.

"You were amazing sweetie! I'm so sorry for not paying attention before.. I didn't know you were this good, I can't believe I missed this." Val said, hugging the doll close.

"It's okay, thank you for coming by the way." Trixie replied.

"Thank Katya, she had to argue quite a lot with us both to make us wake up, but we're glad she did. You've got yourself a good one here, Trixie. I'm sorry we weren't more supportive, and Katya, I'm so sorry for judging you so soon." Her mom said sincerely. The blue eyed girl smiled, she could get used to Trixie's parents talking about them and to them like that. 

"It's no problem, really. I'm just happy we're turning over a new leaf." Katya said politely.

"Thank you, Katya." Trixie said with tears threatening to spill, walking over to her girlfriend and giving her a quick, soft kiss. Katya's arm soon found the doll's slim waist, holding her close as they chatted with the girl's parents some more.

No decisions were made regarding Trixie's future, but at least all demands were abandoned, and that was enough for the brown eyed girl. Her parents were starting to see her as an actual person rather than an academic scoreboard, and for that she would be forever grateful to her amazing girlfriend.


	23. History and Jealousy

Trixie's set had been amazing, she was a star upon that stage and the entire club was buzzing with whispers of her name afterwards. That unfortunately also meant that they couldn't leave right away like Katya had hoped, since Trixie was quickly surrounded by people who wanted to talk to her, many of which had proven to be people the brown eyed girl used to sleep with.

Katya could handle meeting some of her girlfriend's hook up stories, but Jesus Christ there were a lot, and even more annoying was the fact that so many of them assumed Katya to just be another hole in Trixie's belt of conquests. 

"Hey Trix!" A pretty blonde with an accent said. 

"Oh my god, Courtney?" Trixie replied with a beaming smile. This made the blue eyed girl take notice as the doll had greeted most of the other people with some hesitance. However this girl, this petite, ridiculously pretty woman, was quickly wrapped up in a hug by the brown eyed girl, the woman's hands a little too low on the doll's back. Trixie hated hugging people unless she really knew them, that fact in itself was enough to make Katya nervous.

"God, you were amazing up there! And Jesus, you've gotten even more sexy, haven't ya?" Courtney said in what Katya could now reckognize to be an Australian accent, her eyes raking over the doll's form.

"Oh stop it, thanks tho." Trixie responded with a blush. 

A FUCKING BLUSH?! Katya clenched her fists, trying to control her jealousy. Why the fuck was Trixie blushing at this girl's statements? 

The blue eyed girl breathed in and out to calm down. Katya never usually got jealous, of course, she had also never been in a serious relationship before either, nor seen someone blatantly check out her girlfriend in front of her.

"Oh Katya, come say hi. This is Courtney, she's a singer too, we used to fuck before she moved to LA." Trixie told her excitedly. Katya didn't know wether to be happy or angry at the girl's clear obsession with informing her of every person whom she had slept with, but the possibility of living in ignorant bliss sure seemed nice in that moment.

"Hey Courtney, I'm Katya, Trixie's girlfriend." She said reaching out a hand, emphazising the last word a little too much.

"Oh wow, didn't expect anyone to tie her down, well other than in bed, I've done that quite a few times." Courtney laughed out, shaking Katya's hand. 

_"Oh great, I really wanted to know the intimate details of your sex life together."_ Katya thought to herself, her inner voice speaking in an extremely sarcastic tone.

"Fuck all the way off, you did that like twice." Trixie interjected with a laugh, hitting the Australian's shoulder. 

If the ground could ever come and swallow her up, Katya would want it to do it in that moment. Her anger was filling her up quickly, her jealousy increasingly difficult to hide. The blue eyed girl could handle the hook ups, at least sort of, especially since most of them were people Trixie had fucked once. This girl however, this girl had clearly been with Trixie a lot.

"Hmm, I seem to remember more, but then again it might just have been times when you tied me up." Courtney replied flirtatiously, her eyes raking over Trixie's body once more, and her tounge coming out to wet her lips. Trixie just laughed in response, but another blush coated her cheeks and that was when Katya decided she'd had enough.

"Trix, I think it's time for us to leave." She said, making it clear that it was not a subject up for discussion.

"What, but I'm chatting with my friend? Come on, we don't have to leave yet." Trixie said in a bratty whine, pouting her lips and looking at her girlfriend with puppy eyes. 

"Yes, we really do, Trix." Katya said in a deeper tone, her knuckles almost turning white from clenching her fists. 

The brown eyed girl looked down at the other woman's hands, then at her angry expression, and she felt a smile tug on her lips when she realised what it was all about. Trixie wrapped her girlfriend up in a hug as she leaned to whisper teasingly in her ear;

"Aaw, is someone jealous? Can't stand the way others look at me or touch me? I'm sure you just hate to know that all these other people have had their hands on me, touched what's yours. You hate it, don't you baby?" 

Katya gripped her waist harder, pulling her towards her closer than Trixie had thought humanly possible, her fingers sure to leave small bruises from her tight grip.

"You better get in that Barbie pink pussy wagon of yours in the next ten seconds, or I promise you babygirl, you won't be able to sit down on that gorgeous ass of yours tomorrow." Katya whispered in a dominant tone, making wetness drip down Trixie's inner thigh. "Oh, and I am not jealous." The blue eyed girl added in a hushed tone.

"Sure, you're not." Trixie laughed.

"Anything wrong?" Courtney asked confused.

"Not at all, Katya just isn't feeling so well, so we're gonna head home. It's been a long night anyways, but it was so nice seeing you again." Trixie said, leaning in for another hug and purposfully lingering, knowing that her girlfriend would be provoked by the action.

"So good to see you too, Trixie. Talk soon, yeah?" Courtney said, walking away as the brown eyed girl blew her a kiss. Trixie was pushing it, and she knew that very well. 

They headed out to the car and Katya pushed Trixie up against the side of it straight away, attacking her neck with bruising kisses.

"You're in so much trouble, babygirl, you have no idea." Katya whispered possessively. Trixie loved this side of her, loved seeing her girlfriend all dominant and rough.

"What you gonna do, huh? You gonna punish me?" The brown eyed girl said in a bratty and amused tone, clearly enjoying the jealous rage Katya was in.

"Oh, I'm gonna punish you alright. I'm gonna spank you until you can't sit, fuck you until you can't walk, and deny you to cum until you're fucking crying for release." Katya said as she reached up to squeeze Trixie's boobs before leaving the girl entirely. The doll remained in her place, wanting and needy, breathless even tho her girlfriend had barely touched her.

Katya got in the driver's seat of the pink car and leaned over to open the other door, as she stated;

"Get in." 

_All Trixie knew was that it was going to be an unforgettable night._


	24. A Desperate Babygirl

As soon as the pair had entered Katya's apartment, Trixie found herself showed roughly against the door.

"What was that about, huh?" The blue eyed woman practically growled.

"I don't know what you're talking about, I was just greeting an old friend." Trixie replied in feigned innocence, batting her long eyelashes. 

"Yeah I saw, you greeted her more than well enough, alright. Did you like it? Did you like her flinging you compliments? Her eyes panning over you body?" Katya said, slamming her hand down on the door, trapping the doll in between her arms. Trixie didn't know what to reply, she couldn't deny that she liked attention, but she had also been far more focused on how pissed it made Katya than the actual flattery.

"Oh you fucking whore, you did, didn't you? God, you really just love being the center of attention, don't you? Well, clearly you need a reminder of who you belong to." The blue eyed girl said as she pulled Trixie from the door and dragged her into the bedroom. The brown eyed doll couldn't find words to argue nor agree, her mind was racing from how hot Katya looked when she was jealous, her panties uncomfortably soaked under her short dress.

Katya sat down on the chair in the corner of the room, crossing her legs and leaning her arms on both armrests. She oozed power and dominance, a fire in her eyes that Trixie had never seen before. 

"Strip, slowly. Make it a little show." The red lipped woman demanded. Trixie nodded in response, but this did not make the other woman happy.

"Use your words, babydoll." 

"Yes, Katya." The doll responded in a high pitched breathless voice, barely recognizing it herself.

"Good girl." Katya told her, making a warm feeling of pride fill the brown eyed girl's chest.

Trixie followed instructions, slipping out of her clothes at a slow pace. The glittery golden dress disappeared first, then her black chunky heels, her fingers then moved to unclasp her light blue lace bra, and then the matching pair of panties came off next. When the doll reached for the white knee socks however, Katya protested, telling the girl to keep them on. 

"So beautiful..." The blue eyed woman whispered, more to herself than to Trixie. "Lay on my lap." She added seconds later, the doll shuffling over and following the request moments later. Katya's jeans were rough against the girl's porcelain skin, but she did not complain.

"Tell me why you think you're in this position right now." Katya said as she placed a warm hand on the girl's ass, massaging the soft skin.

"Because I need to be punished." Trixie said softly.

"Mhm, and why is that, babygirl?"

"Because I flirted with another woman in front of you to make you jealous." The doll responded.

"Good girl." Katya said as her hand came down hard on the girl's ass, her entire body ricocheting from the impact. Trixie moaned loudly, wiggling her ass for more, desperate to feel the stinging pleasure.

"Oh, you're such a little whore, aren't you? So needy for a good spanking? Oh poor baby..." Katya mocked as she soothed the reddened skin before another stronger hit came down upon the doll's ass.

"Ah, fuck..." Trixie moaned, this earned the doll another spank.

"Shit Katya!" The brown eyed girl mewled out.

"That's right, babygirl." Katya said before her hand came down again. "Who's ass is this, Trixie? Who do you belong too?" She added with another hit, the girl's ass quickly becoming deep red.

"You.. I'm yours.." Trixie moaned softly.

"Couldn't hear you baby, louder please." The blue eyed girl responded with another strong slap to the girl's backside.

"YOU! I belong to you, Katya!" Trixie moaned out in both pain and pleasure, her body buzzing with energy, her pussy dripping and her ass burning. Katya leaned down, placing a kiss on Trixie's ass before massaging it soothingly.

"That's my good girl." Katya said, continuing the massage a moment longer, the doll mewling like a kitten in her lap. "Go find the vibrator from the drawer, lay on the bed and turn it on the highest setting. And no lube, you're wet enough to take it." She added, lightly spanking the girl's ass playfully for emphasis. 

Trixie moaned softly at the impact of Katya's hand before getting up on shaky legs. She pulled out the large rabbit vibrator from the drawer before climbing onto the bed. As Trixie situated herself, laying on her back with her legs spread in Katya's direction, the blue eyed woman was stripping herself of her own clothes before sitting back down completely nude.

The brown eyed girl almost screamed when she turned on the vibrator. It was so deep inside her whilst also applying direct pressure to her clit and it was almost too much to take, the girl's body feeling overly sensitive after only a couple seconds.

"Oh baby, you look so pretty. All spread out for me and only me." Katya said, her own fingers coming down towards her clit.

"Mhm, just for you, Katya... fuck.." Trixie responded in a breathless moan, her brain already feeling like mush.

"Don't you dare cum." The blue eyed girl demanded. 

Trixie wouldn't, no matter how close she was, she knew she wouldn't. Still, the longer the cibrator was in her, the more she started to doubt her resolve, it didn't help that Katya was masturbating in front of her either.

"Oh baby, you wanna cum so badly, don't you?" Katya mocked as she continued to finger herself. Trixie couldn't respond with words, she just nodded desperately instead.

"Well, too bad, you should have thought of that before you decided to intentionally piss me off. Shut it off and pull it out." The blue eyed girl demanded, making Trixie whine at the loss, so on edge that it physically hurt to stop. 

"Babygirl, you can take it, right?" Katya asked, a sincere worry in her voice which made Trixie blush. 

"Yes Katya." The girl responded, feeling shy and small, which was highly unusual for Trixie.

"Good girl, come to me. Eat me out, baby."

There was a softness in Katya's tone now, reminding Trixie of how much love and care there was between them and causing a cute smile to spread on her lips as she sat between her girlfriend's legs. 

Trixie happily licked away, her tongue circling Katya's clit before lapping generously at her lips a couple times. She then inserted the wet muscle into Katya, loving the soft moans that erupted from the girl as she circled her tongue inside her. 

"Hold you tongue still baby." Katya said. The brown eyed girl did so immediately, releasing a broken moan as Katya's hand came to hold her head still as the blue eyed girl's hips started to move. Katya fucked herself selfishly on the girl's hot, wet tongue and Trixie was enjoying every second of it, almost moaning louder than Katya when the girl reached her high.

"Shit, Trixie. You're literally perfect, you know that?" Katya said breathlessly as she released her grip on the girl and leaned back in her chair.

"Can I please cum now, Katya?" Trixie begged, looking sinfully angelic there she sat on her knees with folded hands in front of the other woman. Katya placed a finger under the girl's chin and raised it up so the girl's honey brown eyes met hers before whispering;

_"Oh baby, no, we're not nearly done yet."_


	25. Bound and Needy

"Get on the bed, hands and knees, face towards the wall." Katya instructed, the doll scrambling to do so on shaking legs. Even walking kept Trixie on the verge of release, the smallest friction pushing her towards the edge.

As the brown eyed girl got in position, Katya went to get more objects from her drawer. Silk retraints, lube, a buttplug, and her strap-on were all quickly retrieved and placed on the bed next to her girlfriend. Katya stepped behind Trixie and took the plug in her hand, spreading lube around it before drizzling some on the girl's asshole, the doll moaning at the cold substance hitting her overheated skin. 

"Ready?" Katya asked as she nudged the head of it against the girl's opening to prepare her for what was to come. She knew however that there would be no protests, being fully aware of how much Trixie enjoyed being as full as possible, preferably having both her holes filled at once.

"Yeah.. Please, put it in me, Kat." The girl moaned out, wiggling her ass a little.

Katya pushed the wide plug through the tight ring of muscle, groaning at the sight of Trixie's ass eating it up. Once it was completely inside, the blue eyed girl pushed on the handle, knowing it would make it shift inside the overly sensitive girl.

"Oh, fuck.." Trixie moaned out, pushing back against her girlfriend's hand, but moments later the pressure of it was gone as Katya stepped off the bed again. The blue eyed woman picked up the silk cloth and went to sit at the front of the bed.

"Sit up and give me your hands." Katya said. Trixie moaned loudly as she sat back on her heels, the action causing the plug to move inside her. She closed her eyes and focused all her energy on not cumming, breathing heavily in and out.

"Babydoll, hands, now." The blue eyed girl said in a stricter impatient tone. The doll opened her eyes again, holding out her arms. Katya carefully wrapped the silk restrains around her wrist, guiding the girl forward until her ass was in the air once more, as she tied the girl's hands tightly to the headboard.

The blue eyed girl stepped off the bed again, marveling at the sight. Trixie's arms stretched in front of her, her large breasts hanging proudly underneath her, her glistening soft thighs on full display, her round ass in the air, her tight hole stretched out by the plug inside it, and her pussy dripping down her thighs and onto the sheets below. Katya really had to be the luckiest woman alive to get to see the doll in that position.

"God, you look so pretty. You're so beautiful, angel. And all mine." Katya whispered as she placed soft kisses down the girl's back.

"Yes.. I'm all yours, Katya." Trixie moaned in a soft tone, reveling in how the other woman's warm lips caressed her skin.

The blue eyed girl pulled away, picked up the strap on, spread lube on both ends and pushed one part inside herself before fastening the harness completely.

"Oh, I'm gonna fuck you so good, babygirl. Look how ready you are, all pink, puffy, and wet for me." Katya said as she nudged the head of the dildo against the girl's dripping opening.

"Do you want it, baby?" The blue eyed girl asked, threatening to push in before pulling back, leaving Trixie to push back against her, but the restrains fought against the girl's efforts.

"Yes, fuck Katya, I want it so much. I need it, I need you, please." Trixie whined, so in desperate need of release, the plug inside her providing constant friction, yet not fulfilling her needs. 

Katya didn't say anything more, instead she stepped behind the girl and filled her to the brim in one hard thrust, making Trixie scream out in pain and pleasure at the abrupt intrusion. The doll's muscles clenched around the dildo and she closed her eyes once again to control her need to release. Once completely inside Katya stayed still, letting her girlfriend adjust but also letting her feel the full pressure of the two objects filling her two holes.

"You okay, baby?" Katya asked, still careful not to push the girl too far despite her own desires and needs.

"Mhmm, I feel so full... so full... shit.. please fuck me, Katya.." Trixie mewled out in a breathy tone. Katya needed no more confirmation and so she pulled her hips back almost all the way before slamming back in. The bed moved aggressively as Katya picked up pace, Trixie's body moving with it, her breasts bouncing back and forth.

"Fuck, you feel so good, babe.. You fuck me so good." The doll moaned out, holding onto the restraints as Katya thrusted into her hard and deep. Katya placed a slap down on Trixie's ass, making the buttplug shift violently inside her as she screamed out her girlfriend's name.

"That's right baby, scream my name, let everyone know who you belong to. Let everyone know that no one else can fuck you like this, make you so desperate to cum, fill you up so well." Katya groaned as she watched the dildo attack the girl's pussy over and over, the silicone dildo penetrating the dripping hole at a rapid pace.

"Oh god, I'm yours, Katya... Fuck! I'm all yours.. Always yours.." Trixie cried out, her orgasm nearly impossible to hold back at that point. Soft tears started falling from the honey brown eyes as she clung to her resolve to not cum before Katya allowed it.

"Please, Kat, can I cum? Fuck, I really need to, I have to.. Please, please, please, let me cum." She desperately asked, the heavenly pressure becoming too intense.

"Cum, babygirl." Katya said, knowing that the girl physically couldn't hold back any longer. 

"OH HOLY FUCKING FUCK! KATYAA!" The brown eyed girl screamed out as the most intense orgasm of her life surged through her exhausted body, her juices releasing on the sheets below as her entire body shook. 

Trixie felt transported to another world, her mind filled with bright yellow clouds. She was stuck in a state of complete euphoria, barely even aware of Katya's arm being wrapped around her waist to hold her up as the girl fucked her through her high whilst also chasing her own. Eventually she felt herself be pulled back to reality as Katya pulled out, gently retrieving the buttplug aswell before undoing the silk restraints. Trixie felt a sudden emptiness at the loss, her holes clenching around thin air, searching for the objects that had filled them before. Soon her weak body was wrapped up in Katya's warm arms, the girl's hands calmly combing through her hair as she returned to reality completely.

"How you feeling, baby?" Katya asked in a soft tone.

"Really good... and really sleepy." Trixie said, yawning as she snuggled closer to her girlfriend. 

"I didn't push you too hard, did I?" The blue eyed girl asked, nervous that she might have let her jealousy and possessiveness fuel her actions too much despite her efforts to check on Trixie's well-being.

"No, it was perfect.... You were perfect.... You are perfect.." The doll replied sleepily as she closed her eyes, too tired to fight to keep them open.

"Goodnight, my dearest darling doll." She could barely hear Katya whisper before the land of dreams stole her away.


	26. A Difficult Day

Another month came and went.  
Trixie had been playing weekly at the bar and was starting to slowly gain an audience. Katya however had been drowning herself in her art project as it's deadline was growing near.   
She loved the project, loved her idea and how it was looking, but the intensity of the subject matter was quickly becoming overwhelming, the claws of her old ways reaching for her as she cut together clips and edited photos. 

"Katya? You home?" Trixie asked as she locked herself in, having been given a spare key to the girl's appartment the week before. 

There was no reply, yet it was clear the girl had been filming for her project.  
The living room had been turned into a movie set with things like empty bottles, fake pills, playing cars, and a metal syringe engraved with the words "ingest me" being strewn around on the floor. There was also a cigarette with the words "I don't need you anymore" written on it in black marker laying on the coffee table.

Suddenly Trixie heard soft sobbing noises coming from Katya's bedroom, the sound alerting her straight away. She walked over and gently opened the door, careful not to startle the crying woman. Inside she found Katya, sitting on the floor against the wall, her head down and her knees against her chest. 

She looked so small, so vulnerable, so broken. Trixie couldn't remember ever seeing the strong woman like that before, and it was a truly hardbreaking sight.

"Katya? Honey, what's wrong?" The doll asked as she sat down next to the crying girl, her hand coming up to rub soothing circles on the woman's back.

"I...I don't know... It just became too much.. I wanted to- I mean, I almost could have.. I almost broke... I'm not like this, I was done with this, I swear, I'm not bad anymore.." Katya babbled in a panicked and broken tone, her entire body shaking with anxiety and self-loathing.

Trixie wrapped her arms around the girl, encapsulating her with warmth and love, as she felt a tear roll down her cheek at her girlfriend's words, realising that the girl meant that she had almost relapsed.

"Oh Katya..." The brown eyed girl said sadly, her heart not being able to take seeing the other woman in so much pain.

"Please don't leave me... I'll get better, I swear. I'm not like this.." The poor girl said, an endless stream of tears pouring from her ocean blue eyes.

"I would never leave you because of this. Never. Do you hear me?" The doll said strictly, pulling back from the hug to stare into the other girl's eyes, holding onto her shoulders as she conveyed her message.

"Really?" Katya asked softly, seeming so innocent and frail in that moment.

"Of course! Baby, it's okay. You had one bad day, or maybe even a bad week, but you've had hundreds of good days and hundreds of good weeks. You gotta stop being so hard on yourself." Trixie stated, taking the blue eyed girl's hands in her own before continuing. 

"Listen, I don't know much about drug addiction... I mean, I've heard all of you talk about it at the meetings, but I know I can never truly understand.. But what I do know is that you are fighting every day, and that the need to fight doesn't really stop but only weakens with time. So honey, take your time, you've got time to grow and some day that urge will be so weak that you won't feel like you're staring down the barrel of a gun. You may have nearly relapsed today, but you didn't, and that is something you should be incredibly proud of. Remember what Mark told Tatianna when she almost broke. Everyone there including him was just proud of her for managing to resist, and you should be proud of the same today." She spoke honestly. 

Seconds later, Katya's arms were wrapped around Trixie, holding onto the doll as if she was her lifeline. They sat in comfortable silence, wrapped up in eachother's warmth as the blue eyed girl silently thanked whatever higher power there was that had sent someone like Trixie to her.

"You are... unreasonably caring... I can't believe people like you exist." Katya whispered.

So many people in Katya's life had left her because of the drug use, so much of the damage she'd done under the influence proving to be irreversible despite her getting clean. It didn't matter what she told them or how much she tried to explain, they could never look past it or give her time to improve and even the few who did, left as soon as the girl started to show signs of relapsing. She wasn't used to anyone whom she was really close with responding to her almost breaking in the way Trixie did. 

"It's not unreasonable at all, you deserve every bit of it. Things won't always make sense, things won't always be easy, and that's okay. If you can't make all the words rhyme one day then that's fine, no one needs to know. Not even me, unless you want me to." Trixie assured her.

Katya's lips found Trixie's, the girl letting all her emotions flow into it, before pulling back to tell the doll;

_"You have no idea how special you are."_


	27. Soldiers and Promises

The next couple of days Trixie was working hard, equations and formulas ignored as all her focus went into working on the song she had started on in the days that followed her first date with Katya. The song had been circling around in her head, but she hadn't found a way to continue it before now. She had thought about everything she wanted to tell Katya. How she wanted to assure her that even if she was to relapse, Trixie would remain by her side. She also wanted to write about her own addiction, having especially reflected on how she tried to ignore her first signs of true feelings for Katya all those weeks ago through going out to drink and sleep with a random woman.

So now there she was, sat on Katya's couch, strumming her guitar and waiting for Katya to come home so she could play her new song for the girl.

"Hey Kat!" Trixie said excitedly as she heard the door open. 

"Trixie? Oh my god, what a nice surprise, I thought you'd be busy." Katya said happily as she walked over to kiss the top of the girl's head. Trixie had been staying at her dorm in full focus mode, claiming that she needed to study, so Katya had barely seen her.

"Come sit. I have something for you, it's a present, I guess you could say." The doll said, patting the spot next to her on the couch. The blue eyed girl did so right away, curious about this very abrupt gift.

"What it is?" Katya asked curiously.

"Well, remember when I told you I had to stay at my dorm to study?" 

"Yes, I do, that was literally like two days ago." The blue eyed woman responded with a laugh, making the doll smile warmly because just seeing Katya smile was enough to brighten her entire world.

"Well, yeah, I kind of haven't been studying, I've been writing. I've been writing on a song. I actually started it a really long time ago, but I didn't really find it's meaning until our conversation the other day. And so yeah, I really wanna play it for you." Trixie said, nerves showing as she explained. She wanted so desperately for Katya to like the song and was dreading the possibility of the girl not liking it.

"You wrote me a song?" Katya asked in shock.

"Yeah, it's also a little about me, but yeah mostly about you." 

"Oh my god, that's really... that's incredible, I'm honored.. really. Can I record it? Not like video or anything, but I'd really like to just have it." The blue eyed girl said.

"Sure, I just really hope you'll like it.. But yeah, you can record it if you wanna." Trixie replied, feeling quite shy as the other woman pressed record on her phone, a bright smile on her red lips.

"Okay.. here goes." The brown eyed girl said as her fingers started strumming the intro, her mind focusing on the lyrics and their meaning as she started to sing.

_"Weirdness follows me wherever I go  
Weirdness seems to know me even better than I seem to know myself  
I'm someone else  
Looking to the clock beside my bed  
Am I really keeping time or is it only keeping me instead?  
Go back to bed  
Woah, you've got time to grow_

_Oh soldier, take your time  
No one said the words all have to rhyme, and if they do it's fine  
And even if they don't, no one needs to know  
Woah, soldier, you gotta let things go"_

As Trixie's warm voice filled the room, Katya was transfixed. The lyrics were raw and deep, without ever seeming cringy. There was just honesty and care, and a genuine message that was skillfully expressed through clever rhymes and rhythmic patterns.

_"An hour hand moves faster with a scotch  
Even when you're in it moving faster every minute if you watch  
And I drink a lot_

_But drinking only wakes you up at ten  
Spend the day regrettin', but I'm bettin' that you'll do it all again  
Next weekend  
Woah, you've got time to grow"_

Katya thought back to the night Trixie had called her drunk, and the habit the girl had had in general previously with going to random bars to fuck girls. She realized that this was the verse that was about Trixie and Trixie's own addiction, whilst the rest was mostly about her.

_"Oh soldier, take your time  
No one said the words all have to rhyme, and if they do it's fine  
And even if they don't, no one needs to know  
Woah, soldier, you gotta let things go_

_Don't look down the barrel with an arrow and a bow  
Dressed down in apparel with camouflage from head to toe  
With everything so sterile in a heavy monotone  
Oh soldier, you gotta let things go"_

As the song went on, Katya couldn't help but think the lyrics sounded familiar, very familiar. And suddenly the girl's words from their conversation days before rang loudly in her ears;

_"So honey, take your time, you've got time to grow and some day that urge will be so weak that you won't feel like you're staring down the barrel of a gun."_

Trixie had written her own promise of patience for Katya into a song, she'd made sure that those words would never be forgotten by either one of them.

_"Oh soldier, take your time  
No one said the words all have to rhyme, and if they do it's fine  
And even if they don't, no one needs to know  
Woah, soldier, you gotta let things go"_

Everything about the song was connected to her and them, and the way she looked through the doll's eyes. Katya wanted to be able to see herself through Trixie's eyes for forever. Wanted to be able to understand what made the honey eyed girl so willing to handle any storm they could face and wait it out patiently. The blue eyed girl found herself wishing that there were more people like Trixie in the world, more people who were willing to listen and understand, and even accept that sometimes they couldn't.

_"If you can't make all the words rhyme one day then that's fine, no one needs to know. Not even me, unless you want me to."_ The doll had told her days before, and now in her song she was saying the same. She was promising that Katya had all the time in the world, all the time to grow, all the time to fuck up, and all the time to talk to people when she herself felt ready. 

The song came to an end and crystal tears were falling softly down Katya's cheeks as she looked at her girlfriend in awe.

"You're amazing, the song is amazing, I-I just, I don't know what to say, just thank you." Katya said as Trixie put the guitar down. 

"You really like it?" The doll asked, still feeling anxious.

"I love it, I really do." The blue eyed girl replied, capturing the girl's lips in a soft kiss. 

"Have I mentioned today that I like you alot?" Katya said in a giggle through her happy tears after the pair had pulled away, quoting a text Trixie had sent her ages ago.

"I like you alot too." Trixie laughed, wrapping the girl up in a hug as she let out a sigh of relief.


	28. A Meeting On A Friday

Having a counseling session after nearly relapsing felt tough, especially as Trixie couldn't be there. Trixie was away to compete in the William Lowell Putnam Mathematical Competition, which would take place the next day. Katya was proud of her, both for honoring her commitment to her team and for her having started to find joy in it again. The doll was even aiming to win the Elizabeth Lowell Putnam Award which could only be won by female participants with a high score.

But no matter how proud Katya was of her girlfriend, it didn't change that she now had to attend a meeting all by herself again. It felt like years since she had walked in those doors without Trixie either by her side or already sitting in the circle, but there was no Barbie - doll there today.

"Katya, good to see you, grab a seat." Mark said as he spotted her walking in the door. She was a little late, having stood outside hesitantly for longer than she'd ever admit. Katya got herself a chair, settling down in the circle as a girl named Jaida finished her turn.

"Sorry I was late, it was a little tough to come in today." Katya told Mark as the other girl returned to her seat.

"Do you wanna talk about why that was?" The counselor asked.

The red lipped blonde hesitated for a moment, her nerves so extreme that she felt as if she was walking a tightrope, but then Trixie's song rang in her ears;

_"No one said the words all have to rhyme, and if they do it's fine  
And even if they don't, no one needs to know"_

The lyrics calming her down as she realized that she was in full control of whether she wanted to share or not share, and also in full control of how much she shared.

"Yeah, I do actually... This week I.. I almost relapsed. I was working on my art project and it just got too much for me, I guess..." Katya explained.

"Too much in what way?"

"Well, I'm kind of filming with fake drugs and drug related stuff... you know like syringes, a broken meth pipe, empty pill bottles... that kind of stuff. I wanted to create something around how they no longer held on to me as tightly, and how much joy and excitement I have in my life now compared to what I used too.. But I guess even filming with fake stuff can trigger you.." The blonde explained, seeing only understanding and care in the eyes of the people around the room.

"Well, that in itself is an important lesson to learn, and something that can help you be more prepared in another situation. But the project also sounds very interesting Katya, and very brave. It takes a lot to present your addiction in such a raw way, and even if it became too much one day, it is likely that you'll get stronger just from working on this. Vulnerability is not failure, and temptation is not failure, however finding strength and resisting temptation is a huge success. That means that you've done so much hard work to improve, so even if the battle isn't won for forever, it's a battle you know you can win." Mark told her in a warm and calm voice.

"Yeah.. yeah, I suppose that's true." Katya said, thinking his words over and letting it all sink in.

"Can I ask, you mentioned wanting to focus on how much joy and excitement you have in your life now compared to before, so what has brought that? What has changed?" Her councellor asked, a blush coating the blonde's cheeks straight away.

"Honestly? Trixie. She came into my life like a tidal wave and flipped it upside down. I wanna be clean when I'm around her, I wanna really experience what life is like with her. She's my anchor." Katya responded.

"She makes it better?" Mark asked, not an ounce of judgement in his tone.

"Yeah, I don't think addiction ever really stops, but yeah, she makes it better."

"I definitively think you should incorporate that in your art project..ⁿ I won't pretend to know art so I don't know how it would be evaluated. But I'm sure that if you do accept for yourself that your wish to use doesn't truly stop, but that there are people around you who make it better just by being around you, that the scenes that feel heavy won't hold as much power over you. And remember, it is okay if it gets too much. I hope it felt good to share a little, I know you're often apprehensive about talking in these sessions." The man said.

"It felt really good actually, thank you." Katya replied as the focus changed to a new person, her conversation with Mark circling her mind, her own words coming up again and again;

_"I don't think addiction ever really stops, but yeah, she makes it better."_

When she returned home that night, she cut together the rest of the video, making a last minute decision to add different audio towards the end before she sent the project in for evaluation, despite the gallery viewing of all the projects not being until Sunday.

In bold letters on the first page of the paper she wrote;

_**It Doesn't Stop, But She Makes It Better** _

_by Katya Zamolodchikova_


	29. Celebrations and Opinions

Katya was at the gallery preparing for the event the next day. She had been given a large empty room with white walls so it was easy to set up the projector to show the video.  
Around the room she had put up strings of polaroids, some of them of them depicting the different fake drugs, some of Trixie in bed, some of herself, and some candid shots of Trixie wearing her leather jacket the day they went on their ice cream date, all scenes that would link back to the video in one way or another.  
There were also other pictures of Trixie, pictures Katya had taken when the girl wasn't looking, pictures that showed off the girl's raw natural beauty.

Her phone pinged from across the room where her bag sat, allerting her that she had a new message. Suspecting that it could be her girlfriend, she quickly ran over to check.

 _ **1** new message from **Trixie**_ 💛🐰

_omg guess what!_

_**What?** _

_we won!  
and i won the elizabeth lowell pullman award!  
i was the only receiver of it this year!_

_**Oh my god!  
Trixie, that's amazing!  
Congratulations!** _

_thanks babe!  
also, i wanna celebrate, but you're not here_ 😭😭😭  
_so im gonna need a videocall later_ 😘

_**Trix, I still have a lot to finish at the gallery...** _

_nope, not an excuse  
you owe me  
i can wait until you finish  
but then you're gonna help me finish _

Katya laughed a little at the girl's dumb wordplay, looking around the room before typing up a reply.

 _ **Okay, baby**_ 💛  
_**Give me like two hours and then we'll celebrate.  
Okay?**_

_yay!  
honestly why do you bother arguing with me, you know i always win_

_**True, I don't know why I try at this point.  
I can't resist you for shit.** _

_get your shit done  
i need you_

Trixie's words were nothing if not motivation to work hard to finish preparations. In no time at all, Katya had gotten everything set up and ready for the next day.  
She got on her bike and drove home, walking straight towards her bedroom and propping her computer on the bed. She stripped down to her underwear before pressing the call button.

"Hey, baby." Trixie said with a smirk as she appeared on screen. Katya's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as she viewed the girl.

Trixie was dressed in an all black strappy lingerie set, complete with garters and sheer thigh high stockings, the girl's long blonde hair hanging over her shoulder as she touched herself through her thong.

"Holy shit, Trix." Katya breathed out, squeezing her perky breasts before trailing one hand underneath her panties.

"You like? I found it in a boutique on Friday, and figured it would be a nice surprise. I was gonna wait until I got back, but I missed you too much." The girl spoke as she pulled the hem of the thong out, moaning as she let it snap back against her form.

Trixie reached up to squeeze her large breasts, the soft skin bulging out in the cut outs of the strappy bra, making them appear impossibly larger.

"God, you're so hot, so fucking sexy. Touch yourself, Trix, fuck yourself on your fingers and imagine it's my hand." Katya instructed as her own fingers moved quickly in and out of her.

The brown eyed girl pulled her thong off before settling back on the bed, pushing two fingers inside herself.

"Oh, fuck Katya. God, I want you so bad." The girl whined out in a high pitched tone.

"Shit.. I want you too babe. Fuck, yeah, just like that, add another finger baby, stuff that greedy hole of yours." Katya said, transfixed by the image on the screen. The blue eyed girl nearly came as she saw her girlfriend add not just one but two more fingers, her hole devouring all but the girl's thumb as she fucked herself quickly, making her titties bounce ferociously.

"God, I'm so close already. My pussy is so wet for you... Love when you talk dirty to me, turns me on so much.. Shit, it feels so good. Ah, you look so hot, Katya. Take off you bra, please.. fuck.."

Katya followed through right away, reaching behind to undo her strapless bra and throwing it off the bed. Her pussy clenching tightly around her fingers as a broken moan left Trixie at the sight. She reached up with her free hand, squeezing her boob and pinching her nipple as her high found her.

"Fuck, ah, Trixie!" She moaned out as she rode it out, seeing the girl on the screen fuck herself impossibly faster.

"Oh god, babydoll you look so sexy, so fucking sexy ramming your fingers into yourself like that. You wanna cum, don't yoy? I bet you do. Come on and let go, babygirl. You're so pretty when you cum, let me see you, baby. Show me how much you miss me." Katya spoke, trying to urge Trixie towards completion.

"Ah, ah-ah-I-I'm cumming, fuck I'm cumming.. Aaaah, Katya!" The brown eyed girl moaned out moments later as the sweet high of release found her too. She continued to fuck herself for a while more, her movements slowing down gradually before she finally withdrew her fingers, licking them clean towards the camera before setting her hand down on the bed.

"I can't wait to see you tomorrow. It's too much to be on a trip now when I've already barely seen you this week." Trixie stated once her state of euphoria had passed.

"I know, baby. But at least we'll be together soon. I'm just really nervous for tomorrow, I really hope you like it." Katya responded.

"You should be worried about your teacher's opinion, not mine." The brown eyed girl said with a laugh, but a blush still adorned her cheeks. Katya just smiled and shook her head before stating;

_"Your opinion is the only one that matters."_


	30. A World That's You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: please watch the video attached as it is important to the story and it took a while to edit, but please be warned that it does include some depictions of drugs 
> 
> be safe, and always consider your well being first <3

When Trixie arrived at Katya's gallery showing, the gallery was already packed with people. Multiple exhibitions filled the space, but Katya's really stood out among the crowd. Her room was larger than the other ones, and the entire entrance of it was covered by polaroids. 

"Trix!" Katya called once she saw the Barbie enter, her voluminous waves easily to spot from across the room. Trixie truly looked like a living doll that day, her look consisting of a short partly formfitting pink dress with small white polkadots and puffed sleeves, white fishnets, white ankle socks with a lace ruffle, and white 70's platform shoes. 

"This looks incredible!" Trixie stated as she reached her girlfriend, almost drooling at the tight, short formfitting black long sleeved dress the girl was wearing. It had a zipper down the front which the brown eyed girl wanted to pull all the way down as it was now only constantly teasing the fact that the girl was wearing a red lace bra. 

"Thank you, I'm gonna start the film soon, but I'm letting everyone get a feel of the room and the storyline of the photos first." The blue eyed woman said, feeling pride rise in her chest as she saw her girlfriend marvel at the sight of her exhibition. Katya placed an arm around Trixie's waist as they walked around the room together, the doll occasionally pointing out which photos she liked the most. 

"You really are ridiculously talented, I can't believe you created this. I'm so proud of you, Kat." Trixie said sincerely as she turned to the other girl, wrapping her around the woman's neck.

"Thank you, that means alot." Katya said a little shyly, a sweet blush coating her pale cheeks. Trixie leaned in for a kiss which the other girl deepened seconds later, the time apart only making the feelings more intense. Moments after the pair pulled apart, an older woman placed a hand on Katya's shoulder.

"Mom, I'm so happy you could make it." Katya said excitedly.

"Of course, honey. I'm sorry your father couldn't be here, but he couldn't get out of his business trip." The girl's mother said.

Trixie stared at the woman, she looked so much like Katya, just with darker hair and wrinkles. The doll had heard a lot about Katya's mother, the pair having talked about their families often, but she had never been officially introduced to the woman. 

"Oh, you must be Trixie!" The older woman said excitedly, wrapping the doll up in a warm hug.

"Ehm yeah, yes, I am." Trixie said nervously making Katya laugh a little at how cute she was when she was flustered.

"Oh, it so nice to finally meet you, honey. Katya talks of nothing else. I'm Pat." Katya's mom said warmly. 

"It is very nice to meet you too." The brown eyed girl responded.

"I talk about other things..." Katya whispered in an embarrassed tone, making Trixie giggle and poke the girl's cute pouting red lips.

"No sweetie, you really don't." Pat responded, making Trixie full out laugh which caused the older woman to smile. Katya pulled the girl close and quickly stole kiss before turning towards her mother again, very much enjoying the blush that started coating the doll's cheeks. 

"Oh, you two are just adorable. She's a keeper that one, Katya." Her mom spoke, making Katya smile brightly and Trixie blush a deeper shade of red.

Not long after, Katya's professors came over to them, informing the girl that they were ready to review her project.

"Good luck." Trixie said softly, leaning up to kiss the girl's cheek before the blue eyed woman made her way over to her computer which stood at a small table at the front of the room.

"Welcome everyone, and thank you very much for coming to the gallery exhibition of my art project. I hope you've all had a chance to look at the polaroids around the room to take in some of the subject matter already. I've struggled with addiction for years, and for a while I felt like my progress stood still, at times I even felt like there was no more progress to be made. But I realized recently that I just haven't confronted my addiction in a long time, nor have I actually talked about it. However, recently a very special person came into my life and she inspired this project, she also inspires me to keep taking active steps to stay clean and sober. Now, without further ado, please enjoy the project." Katya said, her voice carrying out to the whole room. 

Trixie stared at it in awe, not only had Katya layed her addiction so completely bare and open for all to see, the entire project also seemed like a love letter. Tears filled the eyes of the doll as she realised just how much she cared about the blue eyed woman. The tears streaming down her cheeks as she heard her own voice fill the hall, the lyrics of Soldier coming out loud and clear from the speakers. The video came to an end and applause filled the room. 

"Thank you so much, and to my dearest, Trixie; I love you." Katya said with a bow. Trixie ran up to her moments later, throwing herself into the the arms of her girlfriend.

"I love you too." The brown eyed girl said, capturing Katya's lips in a soft kiss. 

And in that moment they both knew, as long as they had eachother, everything was going to be alright. 

'Cause two and one, is greater than none.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and supporting this fic! Your support truly means the world to me <3
> 
> I have a new story out called "Lights, Camera, Action" which I hope you will all consider checking out, it's a slow burn and I'm not sure how many chapters there will be but I know it will be quite long
> 
> Thank you all again!


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